I feel like I have been waking up lately with every random thought I could possibly have and I am feeling like I can't keep up with myself... So here is the one for the day:
Does life makes sense? Do we need to make sense of life in order to live a fuller one?
Truth be told, life rarely makes sense, in fact life never makes sense, but of course it is our human nature and curiosity that is always thriving to make sense of life, make it all fit, figure it all out. Why did I go in that direction when everything seemed to be telling me to go in the other, I did not listen but it just made no sense to go the other way so I went this way instead and now I am late for work...
I've learned that the more we try to make sense of how life works the more time we lose actually living life. I keep saying to leave in the moment, I don't plan, I rarely do make any plans, mostly because life has shown me that plans will change, you can plan your entire week, your entire month, your entire life and in the end when you look back nothing, absolutely nothing went according to plan and that never makes sense to us, we figure we can control everything around and make sure that with hard work and dedication our plans come through and we reach whatever goals we have set for ourselves, then everything falls apart and we get pissed off that life is unfair and we did not get back what we were hoping for.
The reality is that when you are planning things you are only planning based on the things you can and will do, you are not taking into consideration that you are not alone in this world, there are billions of people out there that can affect the course you are on. Then to top the billions of people, there are also billions of living things that can also affect the road you are planning on going into and then to top that you cannot predict any natural disaster that can happen while you are on the road to reaching your goals.
All of it can change your plans in a matter of seconds, why? Because everything that happens to us is a learning experience, we get to that point and we learn something new and when we get this new information we decide whether we need to change things or we end up due to circumstances adapting to a new way of thinking.
Which is why I no longer plan things, unfortunately that has put me in a constant battle with the world because most people like to plan, they want to know what will happen next, it is their way of saying "hey! I am in control of my life" and that makes them feel better, it is a natural thing, we are born with the need to feel that we are in control and no one else is, so when I am asked to plan out something and I don't, people tend to jump at me and then suddenly I make absolutely no sense.
I have had people actually get really angry at me because they want me to go ahead and plan out where I will live, where I will work, what I will do next and I just refuse to do it, none of them understand why and it makes no sense to them, but it does to me. Why? I realized that the only thing I have control over is the decisions I make in life, I have no control over the outcome, I am fully aware that I am not the only living creature in this world and because of that I will encounter things in the road of life that will make absolutely no sense to me but if I stop in the middle of the road and start contemplating and trying to make sense of them I will end up either causing an unnecessary accident or I will end up getting hurt, I just have to try and keep going even when things make no sense. This is something I have learned, life decided to teach me this lesson in the hardest of ways and sometimes I forget because again I am (or at least I still think I am) human, I once had plans, I had my whole life planned out, someone would ask me where do you see yourself in 5 years and I could tell them with absolute certainty where I would be in 5 years time, then 5 years came and I was no where near what I had said 5 years before that. I had worked hard for the things I wanted and in a matter of a week I ended up losing them all, something I had not planned on doing, it just happened and it made no sense, still it doesn't no matter how hard I try to make it make sense, the only thing that I can go back and say I did differently back then was that I had stopped following my "hunches" because they made no sense, they were illogical thinking so why follow them? well then I didn't and as people say: "shit happened", so after years of falling down the same hole and asking myself why I did not go with my hunch because I knew I shouldn't have done that but I did it anyway because logic had to win... I decided to just go for it and try the different approach and went with my hunches and guess what every time I went with my hunches everything turned out fine, it never made sense, it still doesn't make sense, but then again I have been on both sides of the spectrum and Life itself doesn't make sense.
Life will never make sense, life has a way of giving you directions and you have the option to follow those directions (hunches) or not follow them, what happens after your decision is made you have no control over, sometimes I wish we did but we really don't, it is a hard lesson to learn and it is really hard to change the way we are hardwired to think and act, I still battle it myself and find it a lot easier to just ignore other people when they start trying to get me to plan the next thing I am supposed to do according to them and just hide away for a bit to try and avoid the stress it causes me to try and stick to a plan because really I don't know where I will be tomorrow, I really don't even know what will happen in the next minute so how can I possibly plan out one week of my life, a month of it, or even years of it...
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