A hundred years ago society saw divorce as the worst thing you could ever do, if you got married you had to stay married, no matter what, even 50 years ago women would refuse to get a divorce even if they knew their husbands had a pregnant mistress on the side, the mistress always remained a mistress and the poor child would grow up hidden in the shadows of the affair with the big "bastard" sign on their forehead (yes I know a few older couples that have been in that situation and their families just found out about the other woman and the child when the child turned 30 years old and now there was no use in hiding it anymore) Now a days we don't tolerate that, a woman is not going to remain married to a man that is cheating on her, she will divorce him and take half his money and move on, as painful as it will be for her.
Then you have the other side, women cheating on men, that was something that rarely happened back 100 or even 50 years ago, but now it is a more common thing, women now are allowed to express themselves more freely, especially when it comes to our sexuality, back then we were not allowed to do that, sex was something that was very personal, very intimate, especially for a woman, it was not allowed to leave the bedroom of a husband and wife. Think about how sex is now, it is thrown in everyone's faces, you turn the TV on and there it is. This freedom helps create an image of a man that does not exist, and suddenly we start looking for it... And when you look for something you usually end up finding it.
Add social media and the way we communicate with everyone, we have the entire world at our fingertips, there are apps where you can find a girl or a guy that is within miles of you and you can ask them to meet up, just with the touch of a button, it's right there. It's so easy to find someone new and exciting to replace the old one. I mean how exciting is it to meet a new person? To learn about them, have a nice conversation with someone about what they like and what they don't like, all that usually lasts about two months, and after that you tend to not talk as much because well even though there is still a lot to learn from the other person, the excitement level goes down and so you feel like you have to look for someone new...
With that said, add now how we communicate with each other. I have always said that the basis of any relationship is communication, there is no such thing as love first and everything else coming from it, the truth is you cannot love someone without knowing them (and if you are gonna say well what about the love of a mother for their child, well let me tell you something, a child is an extension of the mother so the mother already knows the child because they know themselves). A relationship, any relationship, first starts with communication, you talk, you learn about each other, but back then you had to do it either in person or by talking on the phone, there was no such thing as texting or email or social media, you actually had to be there. Your presence makes a big difference! Now a days we communicate how? a text here, a text there and I have said this before: have you ever gone back and read an entire conversation you had with someone over text and realized that you missed something the other person had texted because you were too busy typing your answer to the question they had sent before that one text you missed? Yeah, it happens a lot! not only that but you can never feel the emotion or read body language on a text, the best you are ever gonna get is a emoji trying to explain how the other person feels a that moment.
Let's keep going with this social media thing, (I am beginning to think this is possibly too long of a blog post but who cares, I am trying to get my point across haha!) because of social media now a days it is a heck of a lot easier for someone to pretend they are something they are not. Because of social media it is a lot easier for someone to learn about another person without having to ask them about themselves, we live in a world that over shares everything, we live in a world where we see everything through the lens of a camera phone, we live in a world where everything you like on the internet can be easily seen by other people... And with that you now live in a world where someone who is your "friend" on Facebook can easily find things about yourself and pretend to like the same things you like only because they want to get you in bed. They can easily become the perfect person for you. (yes I know that is pretty scary but ohh so true!!!)
I am going to add one more thing to that social media over sharing... What do people do now a days when they have a problem? they post it on their social media profile. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+ are all our outlets for relationship problems, we don't go and talk to the person about it anymore, we post it and wait for our friends to comment, and then we get that one friend that is the kind that likes to get involved in everything that always wants to give advice on how to deal with the relationship, or the guy or the girl who has been secretly waiting for you to have an issue with the person you are currently with just so that they can come in and tell you how they would NEVER do that to you! Again making it a heck of a lot easier to dump one and replace it with another.
With all this I have just one more thing to add... there is one thing that human beings fear the most, we have an extreme fear of being alone, that fear is usually what gets us to pick the wrong person, that fear is what get us to jump into relationships too quickly, that fear is what does not allow us to maintain the relationship we have now. And because of how our society is changing, now a days we are even less accustomed to being alone and enjoying our solitude, the solitude we all need to get our thoughts together and figure out what we really want out of life. We are always surrounded by someone, always in constant communication with someone that we don't listen to ourselves anymore and because of that our fear of being alone has increased tremendously and because of it more and more people rush into things, we don't take the time anymore to learn about the other person, to get the trust and the respect to grow like it should, to take it day by day and be friends first and see if that other person can be a good partner for you, to actually enjoy each other alone without the noise of the world telling you what is right and what is wrong for you. We don't take the time to show the other person who we really are because we are afraid that they might leave us if we do, so we go on pretending to be someone we are not until we become so unhappy that we can't pretend anymore, and I guess that's where the gamble comes into place, because at that point all you can do is hope that this other person falls in love with the real you and most times they don't so the fear of being left alone becomes true quicker than you thought...
That is why relationships don't last now a days, because the world has changed and we have forgotten the most basic things that make a relationship work. We have let ourselves get dragged into a world where we listen to everyone else but ourselves, where everyone else has the answer but not us, where we put on a screen in front of our faces and pretend we are someone we are not. We have gotten dragged into a make believe world where we have people telling us how you know when you have met the one? And we have forgotten that the only person that knows how they've met "the one" is you, because your "the one" is not the same "the one" for someone else.
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