Why Jamberry Nails....

Today I had the gracious idea of painting my nails... Whoever put that idea in my head, I don't know but I have not done this in years and today I realized why I have not haha!!!

It is a freaking pain in the ass to do your nails.  I am not the kind of person that paints their nails all one color but I do what they call "French manicure" which is even harder to do.

While attempting to get this right, the only thought that came to my head was: now I know why people swear by this Jamberry nails stuff.  Those little nail wraps that are becoming increasingly popular and that my mother keeps telling me that I need to sell.

Here is the deal, when I signed up for Jamberry I attempted to get those wraps to work on my nails but even now, they still not last too long.  People kept telling me how these wraps lasted for 2 weeks or more and here I was not being able to make them last for more than a couple of hours lol.  What was I doing wrong? I was taking my time and tried many different methods of putting those things on but it never worked... My fingernails just don't like them and you know what that's ok...  Finally I tried them on my toe nails and they lasted over a month, they looked really cute.

Now back to my wonderful idea of doing my nails today.  They came out great! I am not gonna lie, for someone who has not done this in years, I did a pretty good job.   However it was a long and exhausting job.  It took me just as long (if not longer) than it did when I was frustratingly trying to put those Jamberry wraps on.  And on top of that it's been like 2 hours and I am still waiting for the nails to completely dry.  The nail polish is super messy, so once the nails dry I will have to clean up my desk and well I am pretty sure that they will probably last about a day (longer than the Jamberry wraps but still).  Then there is the smell, my office still smells like nail polish and boy I had forgotten how distasteful that smell is.

I really wish now that the Jamberry wraps would work on my nails.  I have to admit it is not for everyone, my nails just don't like them.  Maybe it is that my nails have a high pH level or maybe it is because they are very curved. (yes I have tried many different ways of applying them but they still bubble up and fall off)  Ask my mother though, and they last on her nails for over two weeks, they don't bubble up, they don't fall off, she has to actually take them off.

So here is the deal, if I had a choice when it came to getting Jamberry wraps on or doing my nails with regular nail polish.  I would definitely go with the Jamberry route, they are just as much of a hassle to put on when you first do them as it is nail polish and you have to take your time but... They do not smell like the nail polish does, they are not messy and you don't really need to wait for them to dry.

If you are like me though, you are not going to take my word for it, so I dare you to try them both.  Do a French manicure with regular nail polish, and then when it's time to get your nails done again do one with the French manicure Jamberry wraps and see the difference.

I did do my toes with regular polish too, those were faster to get done properly but the smell is still not worth it.  It suddenly dawn on me why I stopped doing this a long long time ago lol.

Teachers...

I don't even know where to begin so I guess I should begin by stating that I was raised by who I believe to be the best teachers I have yet to meet.  With that said... I don't know why but I have always had some issue with at least one teacher, most times the issue is them treating every single student like they are all the same, they all learn the same way and they all do things the exact same way.  The problem I have is that the reality is that not everyone is the same and this false idea of equality does not go well with me.  Some students are more intelligent than others, there are some students that are extremely dumb, and others that no matter what you do, you just can't teach them anything. 

Yesterday I had one teacher piss me off to no end, it probably did not help that I am sick and it's hard for me to tolerate her when I am healthy, it's even harder to tolerate her when I am sick.  Wednesday I left her class early stating: I don't feel well, I have to go.  Yesterday, I got my quiz back with a long ass note stating: You owe me an explanation because you cannot just leave class telling me that you don't feel well and that's it. 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Then yesterday she decided that even though everyone else was on their laptops and she had no idea what the hell they were looking at, I was going to be the one that she would say: put down your phone because you are distracting everyone...

She got a really long e-mail today, nicely stating what I wish I could have add a few curse words because the reality is that she pissed me off!!!! 

1.  She is fucking teaching a college class not fucking grade school, adults go to college, I am an adult and there is nothing that states that I have to give anyone an explanation for leaving class early, arriving late or not coming at all.  If there is an attendance policy then it is my fucking responsibility to show up to class and if I don't then I take whatever grade I get because hell, I did not do everything that was expected. 

2. "I don't feel well, I have to go" is explanation enough, add to that the fact that I barely had a voice which added to the statement of how terrible I was feeling. 

3. If she is stupid enough to not realize the obvious or she is too into her own damn world that she cannot perceive how sick I was when everyone else was perceiving it.... Well that is not my fucking problem, it is hers! Now, if she has some sort of disability that does not allow her ass to perceive things like other people do then my fucking apologies, I did not know you had a disability but now that I do I will do my best... But still you are not getting a fucking explanation other than: I don't feel well, I have to go. Now if it is that she does not care about me being sick, well I understand that because the reality is that it is none of her goddamn business!!!

4. If the little 18 year-olds in the class are distracted by my looking down at my phone then they have a fucking serious problem.  Life is fucking full of distractions and if someone looking down at their phone is distracting them from doing their work while they are also looking at their damn computer... Well let me tell you something, reality check! you are not going to go anywhere in life if you get distracted by such little things. 

5. The truth is that the only one that was distracted was the fucking teacher, why? Because she has an intense need of attention, she cannot bear anyone not looking directly at her at all times, so she did not like me looking at my god damn phone and when I told her why I was looking at it she decided to tell me it was not her fault (which no one was telling her it was) and that I needed to tell her this before class... Yet again, NO NO NO and fucking NO!!!! I don't have to fucking tell you my whole life story, it is none of your god damn business!!! I am an adult and if I am looking down at my phone there is good reason for it. 

6. How fucking dare you say anything to one of the very few fucking people in your class that walks in there and gets an A in every single test she gives out... Because as I stated to her, this class is just a fucking refresher for me, I already know what she is teaching and I don't even have to open the damn book nor do I ever have to study for it, so another reality, she is pretty damn useless to me because she is really not teaching me anything... (ok, maybe she is teaching me a valuable life lesson of being tolerant to fucktards, but that is another story). 

With all that said to her, without the curse words, I ended my email by letting her know that I don't tolerate her, so I will be happy to drop off my homework for next class if there is any and I will see her for my final exam and then I hope to never fucking see her again... To which she replied: Please schedule a time to meet with me and then proceeded to give me her office hours... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? Which fucking part of: I DO NOT TOLERATE YOU! Do you not fucking understand? 

And so I have said my peace, and spent an extreme amount of time trying to nicely tell a fucktard to just FUCK OFF!!! I don't fucking like you and I don't owe you an explanation for getting out of a class early because I was sick! In fact, the I don't feel well, I gotta go was way too fucking much! 

Time heals everything...

I woke up today with that thought in my head: "Time heals everything" what a bullshit thing we say to ourselves to make ourselves feel better...
The only reason why we say time heals everything is because with time we get used to our new ways of living, nothing more than that.
When it comes to losing someone we love, whether it is because the angel of death takes them from us or because the circumstances of life pushes us in different paths, we never really heal over the loss of someone we love... I was sitting here remembering all those times I've lost someone I loved, some of them it has been years and I can say it does not hurt any less that they are gone, all that's different is that with time I've gotten used to them not being around and so that's how life became easier, but it does not hurt any less to not have them here...
Same thing happens when you lose things, life takes a turn for the worst and suddenly your entire world is upside down, everything you had you lost and slowly you are forced to rebuild everything, you never really get over that, you just get used to rebuilding, you get focused on rebuilding and sort of forget how you felt, eventually you get used to not having the things you had before and you get used to the new things, it's not healing really it's changing and getting used to that change even though deep inside you still liked the way it was before better...
Time heals everything... How crazy the human race is, we like to believe these things to make us feel better without even realizing exactly what we are saying, our ability to adapt to change is what makes everything bearable and our inability to realize how quickly we adapt to new situations even when we don't want to is what make us suffer and sometimes the suffering becomes so unbearable because we think we can't adapt to anything that happens to us. We want to think that if we create the change then it will be more bearable, we chose it and therefore it's good because we were in charge but we know we are never really in control, we can control our decisions but not the outcome but we will get used to the outcome, as hard as it will be at first, eventually we all get used to the outcome, sometimes the outcome changes us and sometimes we decide that we have to change again in order to get a different outcome but regardless we will get used to it.
Time does not heal everything, the hurt will always be there because we will always remember how we felt, but time allows you to accept those feelings, accept the outcomes of your decisions, accept the outcomes and lessons of life and as time passes we adapt quicker to the changes we are put through... And it's ok to be sad, it's ok to feel, we have to feel, feeling is how we learn to appreciate the good and the bad, we learn that without one we couldn't know about the other, we learn that sometimes bad is good we just don't see that it is until we adapt and realize even though it hurt to change, it was eventually for the better of everyone.

Colors

So here I was doing a word search puzzle, the title of it was "COLORS", it's interesting how much you can learn from a word search; I have found many words that I did not even know existed, today I have found what to me are the 6 most ridiculous color names.

1. Ashy... Really? Ashy? What the hell is the color ashy? I had to go and look this up cause it seriously does not even sound like a word to me and maybe that's because English is not really my first language but seriously ashy? Well, it turns out it is a damn color and maybe because I am a woman I should know what color that is well... no I seriously don't, I know shades and I will go with this is a different shade of red, or green, or brown, but I had no idea that each shade had a color name... so ashy, that color is apparently a pale grayish color.

2. Drab... drab is a dull light brown, apparently called drab because of a fabric that is made of that color, now again, this to me would just be a different shade of brown... in essence light brown... The more I think about this the more I realize how much easier it is to just generalize these colors, I feel bad for anyone that actually has to memorize them, the general population does not really know all these names and whoever does know them in order to use them they will actually have to be able to describe them....

3. Dun, this one is another shade of brown, mostly used to describe apparently the color of a kind of horse or a horse that has a particular gene called the dun gene... very interesting... again just another shade of brown with a new name...

4. Jet, this one is a shade of black... which is puzzling because to me black is black and there is not really shades of it, if you start giving me "shades of black" the black actually starts looking more like a dark shade of gray, but hey I did not invent all these color names...

5. Gilt, this is another name for gold, very straightforward since this is also use as the past tense of the word gild which means to coat with gold... however when did we start using verbs to describe colors? I guess some colors have more than one name, because gilt and gold are basically the same thing, there is not even a shade of difference based on what I've research so far...

6. Last but not least, and possibly the worst one of all... Vert! Vert!!! It's a shade of green by the way, no one could come up with anything better than Vert? and the reason I say this is because in Spanish green is verde, so basically all I see is the same word but take out the e and replace the d with a t, and I am pretty sure that vert is a word that might mean green in a different language but here... it's just another shade of green....

So here is the deal... after much thought I have come to the conclusion that human beings make things a lot more complicated than they need to be, I mean if you work with colors and what not, and you have to go ahead and show a specific shade of one color to someone then just show them the shade, now I understand that when you are trying to buy paint to say paint the walls in your house the people that sell the paint need to have a name for the paint you are looking for in which case I would preferably use numbers instead of making up names, and really when you are talking about colors even the shades of color change depending on who sells the paint, so it could have the same name but it will still look like a different shade... But then again that's just me... and maybe it's just my craziness that has me thinking of the ridiculousness of all of this... I mean gilt? really? vert? jet? I see the word jet and I think of a small airplane that maybe one day I will own... or not own depending on what I decide to do with my life...

Also, as a person that likes to paint and create all different things with different shades of colors before I get a whole bunch of creative people on my butt about how to them there are many different colors and they like each of them to have a name... let me tell you something, when I am making something I look at the shades of the colors, I don't look at the name, I look and focus on the particular color, not on its name...

-What's new?

-I don't think you would be interested....

-What makes you say that?

-It just always seems like you are busy with other things, there is always something more interesting than whatever is going on with me, I mean sometimes I even think I am not interesting enough for myself...

Then I start thinking that maybe it's just that I have found myself in a place where the only thing I have to complain about is little stuff that is not even worth mentioning...

Have you ever thought how most times people once they know each other they mostly start talking about what goes wrong in their lives rather than what is positive?

It's so easy to point out every negative thing, but to sit there and actually say hey you know what I have nothing to talk about because I have nothing to complain about... So I did not sleep for 4 days, yes I am tired but I have the power to work as little or as much as I want, I am working for myself and doing things that have a bit of meaning which is great and even though the fear of not making it to the next month, of not having enough money to pay for bills is there, it's not as bad as having to work for people you don't like and listening to other people complain about meaningless things. 

So yeah I have not much to say, and even if I did I don't think it would really matter, most times we are ask what's new or how is it going just out of courtesy for the other person in front of us because really, how many times have you actually wanted to ask that question willingly? I mean do you really care enough about the other person to want to know how they are doing? Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just the fact that I believe most people complain about the most stupid things and because of that I have become extremely detached to those that do just that... and then really when I ask those that I do care about and they tell me what they are going through and I am unable to help I become extremely frustrated, or even worse when I ask what can I do and their answer is nothing and they say it with that "I don't want you doing anything for me because you are not capable of helping me anyway" attitude, that just makes me feel worse so then why the hell would I bother??? The best policy is to just remain silent, after a while and after your willingness to help another is rejected so much, then you just feel like you should just never offer ever again, because obviously you are incapable to do anything for anyone and they obviously are stating they can do it on their own so now go get over your feelings of mediocrity and uselessness that they have just brought upon you... Ohh and by the way how you are feeling is all on you because no one can make you feel any way you don't want to feel.... 

-Wow!!!

-Yes, I know... even though I am extremely quiet, I have a lot in my mind... in fact when I am the quietest is when an extreme amount of thoughts are going through my mind... So much so that again it's better to stay quiet, because if I was ever to put out in the universe everything I was thinking I would never finish, and 99% of the people out there would have absolutely no clue as to what I was talking about, because sometimes even to me, I make no sense... So yeah nothing is new, all is good and the world is great!