And so it was that she decided it was time to move on, she enjoyed the few times she was with him and so long as she had those memories nothing else really mattered, so she went on with her life...
As she decides to move on, her wonderful ex boyfriend, that boy that she felt completely safe with, the one that she allowed to hold her when she cried and the last one with whom she allowed herself to feel vulnerable and free, that boy had become her friend but it was time for him to leave for months, somewhere she could not reach him anymore, not for months anyway.
During the three months he was away she met this other guy, MR (something about those Ms huh?), he came in telling her all she wanted to hear, he learned about everything she ever wanted, and so at some point he made sure to offer it, he made sure to mirror her every desire and while she knew he was lying because something always told her that he could not be trusted, she decided to just go with it.  Why? you ask, well her answer was why not? here is a man that is willing and apparently was able to give her that which was what she wanted: a home, a family, kids, a partner and a friend that she could always count on, so  why not? why not just go with it, the love would come after and who cared about trusting him, trust was not gained in one day or two, it was gained over time and so it would take time for him to earn it but even though the thoughts were that she should just run the other way she decided that she was going to ignore them because ignoring them meant she would get what she wanted right then and there, she did not want to wait any longer.
So she decided to marry him, months into the marriage she was miserable, as miserable as one should expect to be when you are with someone you don't love and that you really don't know.  That's when she learned the first important lesson of her life: people can say or type whatever they want, they can tell you how much they love you, they can tell you how much inspiration you bring to them, they can say how much you make them want to become a better person, but showing all of that... that's the difficult part.
Showing how much you care about someone, becoming a better person than you were yesterday, showing how much you love someone, that's the hardest part for people to do especially when it's all not real, when all of it is a lie.  Sure at the beginning of everything all is exciting, all is fun, and all is perfect, but soon enough the true colors show, it's just a matter of time before people become comfortable enough with each other and start thinking that now the other person depends on the other's company, and that's when the little quirks, the little annoyances come out, and when they do the fights start.  The wrongful thought that you will always be there for the other one just because you have gotten accustomed to their company, because at that point even their little and big annoyances could eventually be disregarded and then you could just live life without any arguments, that is the thought that ends up making people miserable.  There comes a day when you realize that there are certain things that you just can't overlook, that there are certain things that you want to change about the other person, and then you get another fun idea: what if I could change them? they love me enough, or what if I could give up all that I ever wanted for them because I love them enough... The worst thing a person could say to themselves is that they can change another person, if you cannot accept the person you are with with all their faults, all their quirks, all their annoyances, if you can't overlook that, don't think you can change them, and don't try to change them; they deserve to be with someone that accepts them for who they are, the way they are that laughs at their annoyances, that think "this is the most annoying thing they can do but even though I would mind it if someone else did it, I don't mind it when he/she does it."
Lesson learned, and then she was ready to pack up and leave, and so it was that she was to save money within a couple of months and then she would pack up all her things and move on, but then she got sick and ended up in the hospital, only to find out that her sickness was not really her being sick it was what normally happened during the first trimester of pregnancy, what to do now? That's when she thought she was getting one of her wishes, she was going to have her baby.  Immediately she knew it would be a girl, but how would it work? having a kid with a guy she was constantly arguing with, a guy she did not love.
She asked God, the universe, the Spirit as she calls it, to make it so that if this guy was going to be a great father for her child that her heart would open up and she would start loving him like anyone deserves to be loved and she would accept him how he was, but if that man was going to turn out to be a bad father for her child then that guy would go away, he would walk away just in time for her child to never have known him so that her child would never suffer.
When she was 5 months pregnant she realized this guy that she married was a drug addict, he said he would change, he said that he was going to be better, he said he wanted to leave that habit, that it was not as bad so it would be easy to leave behind, so as a good wife she stuck it out, she believed him this time.  She believed that he really wanted to change, but then she realized how easy it was for people to fake change, to make believe they were someone that they really weren't and how the more questions she asked the more they were reminded that they had something to hide so the more they would hide it.
Months passed and everything seemed to be going fine, the baby was born and once she stopped working again, things started to turn south, MR had not stop taking drugs and slowly but surely things were being lost, small appliances in the house, her car, their apartment.  When the baby was almost 9 months old, she found herself living with her husband in a room that they rented from someone else, having to wait for days just so that he would actually buy enough food for her to eat, then the money would be gone again and days passed before they could eat properly again.  All of that though to her was the very small of what was not working in the relationship, the main thing was that she was not in love, she had learned to care a little bit for him and maybe even loved him in a way, let's face it thanks to him she had her first baby, so she could not hate him but she was not madly in love with him either, and as the days progressed and things kept getting worse and worse she started to wonder more and more, that feeling of distrust came back to her, and the unhappiness filled her life.
For weeks she tried to figure out how to leave, it was time, she found out how much more money her husband was truly spending on drugs and at that point she realized that he did not really loved her either, it was all a scam but not one that surprised her.  All those times when he said to her how much he could accomplish with her by his side, how much inspiration she gave him, how much joy she brought him, how he would be patient because he understood her, all lies.  Anyhow, once she found out how much bigger the drug problem was, she planned out her "escape", and I say escape because by then she felt like a prisoner, she had no phone, no car, no money, but the hope she had that there was something better waiting for her if she could only leave that's what gave her the courage to finally pack her bags and go.  She really had no one to turn to except for her daddy, so she called him and he came, something she did not expect but that in a way happened just because she was truly in need.