She grew up idolizing her father, one that was not around but the few times he was, he was the best dad ever.  She always blamed the circumstances, the person her father had chosen as a second wife, the time it took to take care of a child, for that absence.  It was never her father's fault that he was not around, she also always wanted to be with her grandmother and because of this she thought maybe if I wanted to be with dad I would be with dad.
Dad was wonderful through those years, he was the guy that went out of his way to help others, he would buy toys for Christmas and give them away to kids that were living in the streets, he would buy food for the kids he saw in the streets in an attempt to make sure they ate and did not get their money stolen by their parents or spent on drugs.  Her dad was fun, he would play around with her and her sister, washing his car on a Sunday afternoon was the most fun, everyone would end up wet, watching cartoons in the weekend mornings she would go to her father's house and at some point putting music on and danced around the house while cleaning it.  There were few of those days but those days nonetheless were all she knew and all she thought her father was.
So that's why as she grew older all she ever dreamed of was to have a family, to find a guy that would fall completely in love with her, that would be proud of her, that would be kind and fun just like her dad was.  A guy that would have the drive to be successful in all aspects of life but that would not allow that success to get to his head, he would be someone that remained humble through it all. Someone that was truly happy and that enjoyed life just as much as she did.  This man would be someone that would treat her as an equal and would at the same time feel he was the luckiest man on earth because he had her with him.  They would work hard together and help each other reach their goals, she knew there would be tough times but they both would go through them together and rise above them, because they would work as a team to get ahead.
The man she would meet would also be so in love with her and she would be so in love with him that neither of them would ever have any doubts as to the choices they ever made in life, because they would know that all those choices is what brought them together so even if at the moment they seemed like the wrong choice, they all turned out to be the right one.  One day she thought, and that day she would also have her daddy around, and he would also be so proud of her because she would have not only found happiness on her own but also found someone to share it with and someone that knew how much she was worth.
Then there came the day when finally came the choice to live with dad full time, she thought it was time for dad to take over for grandma, it was time he got the chance to become responsible.  Then she came to know a different person, one that resolved everything with punches and insults, one that wanted to show off to the world everything he had and even try to show off the things he did not have.  A man that was not humble at all, nor was he happy, he was unhappy and he wanted to make sure everyone else was, someone that had no respect for what others wanted, but only had respect for what he wanted and only if the others would do what he wanted was it that he would respect what they wanted to do.
She got to meet a man that had no problem telling her that the biggest mistake he ever made was to get her mother pregnant, without realizing what those words meant.  A man that would make excuses to hit his wife, and even more excuses to hit his kids, kids that were old enough to understand if only they were free to talk to each other, if both parts waited for the anger to settle and then both also realized that they needed to open their minds and listen to the other.
There went her dreams of a family, of a man that was just like dad because now she really knew who dad was, and if after all those years, even though she realized that she never really spent a lot of time with dad to realize what his flaws were, how easy would it be for her to be deceived into thinking that one man could be all she ever wanted and then for that man to turned out to be something totally different? What about now knowing who dad really was and wishing for someone like him, then she would get someone that was just like him?
This is when she realized that all those dreams should remain just being dreams, and the best and safest thing to do was to be alone.