FedEx fucking sucks, when incompetence goes way too far...

I seriously can't make this up, after today I am seriously questioning how the fuck is a company like FedEx still in fucking business!!!
A package was ordered on April 3rd, 2015.  Said package was expected to arrive on April 8th, 2015 by 10:30am.  The arrival time was very specific, usually with carriers you see that the time of delivery is by the end of the day on a particular date. This morning I decided to check the FeDex website to see where the package was and if it was in fact on route to my house.  Their tracking system showed the package in Memphis, TN.  The package's final destination is Charlotte, NC.
I went ahead and I called FedEx and asked them where the package was, the response I got from their international department (package was coming from China) was that there were issues with customs and customs did not release the package on time, but now the package was released from customs and it was in a warehouse in Tennessee waiting to be transferred to cargo so that it could be shipped to Charlotte.
I asked when it was released from customs and the lady said it was released yesterday at 5pm.  I told her ok so it would be in cargo sometime this morning and it should be here tomorrow, she said yes it should be there tomorrow.  I said can you assure me that my package is going to be here tomorrow, she said well I cannot assure you of that because anything can happen and then she added: "the plane might not work and that might delay your package even more."
I said: So, you are telling me that the plane might not work and you don't have a different one that you can put the package on? She said: well, the package is waiting to be transferred to cargo so that it can be shipped to the final destination.  I said: Why is it just sitting there waiting? It was supposed to be express delivered and it's not like customs has it so it should be on its way to my house right now.
She had no answer for me other than no one should have promised the package today since anything can happen with the cargo and the plane might not work so the package would have been delayed even more.
I seriously cannot make this up and this is not where the story ends.  The tracking on the FedEx website says the package is in transit to Japan. So I called them again this afternoon.  The lady that answered me in the international customer service department said: Your package seems to be having issues with customs, and it is still in China.  I said: the lady that I spoke to at 9am this morning said that the package was in Memphis and that customs had released said package so it was just waiting on a warehouse to be transferred to cargo and it would be shipped to me so long as the airplane was working.  Cause I am guessing FedEx, only has one fucking cargo airplane that flies from TN to NC.
The lady said ohh no, it looks like your packages are in Anchorage, AK you are expecting two packages right? I said: No, I am expecting only one! She says: Ohh yes yes, it is in Anchorage and the representative you spoke to earlier should have started a trace  to see where the package is, that is when I told her that since the representative that I spoke with in the morning did not do her job and she seemed to have no idea what the hell was going on, to transfer me to a supervisor.
Exact wordings she used after I said that: "It seems like a trace for this package should have been opened this morning and since that did not happen this issue will have to be escalated to a supervisor, would you like me to transfer you to one?"
This is the part where you want to be able to reach through the damn phone and start strangling some sense into people... Finally I get the supervisor on the line, and the supervisor says to me: It looks like your packages are on their way to China from Japan, you are expecting two packages correct? I said: no, it is only one! He tried to fix that whole situation and said: ohh yes yes I was reading wrong, but your package is on its way to China from Japan.  I had to ask how the fucking hell did my package get to Japan, I mean one thing would have been for them to have accidentally sent it back to China right but the package had been in Memphis, then in Anchorage and then in Memphis again and from Memphis the package was sent to Japan, and now there was no estimated delivery time.
I don't know which one was the idiot that said it but at some point I heard: Well, the good news is that it did make it to the USA! Well, you fucking morons!!!! That it made it to the USA helps me fucking none because the package is no where in the USA...
Supervisor said he was going to finally open the trace and investigate where the package was so that I could get an estimated time of arrival, and that someone will be contacting me within 2 hours to let me know what is going on.
I got a call 45 minutes later and it seems like the more you fucking move up the chain of command of the Federal Express corporation the more incompetent they seem to get.  I asked where was my package, yet again... Ma'am your package is in China.  It somehow went to Japan and then back to China.  I said: are you going to tell me when the package will arrive here, cause it is not supposed to be in China, and could you explain to me how the package came to Memphis, and then went to Anchorage and went from Anchorage to Memphis and from Memphis it went to Japan and from Japan you are telling me that now China has it?  She said yes, it seems to have been human error and there is not much we can do about that.  I said so my package is in China now, she said: well we are waiting for China to open so that we can ask where the package is.  So you really don't know where my package is and you are telling me that you've lost it due to human error. She immediately tried to rephrase that, of course I did not let her.
So here is the bottom line:

1. A package was ordered, said package was being shipped from China to Charlotte, NC.
2. Said package made it from China to Memphis, TN in one day, the tracking of it (picture attached to this post) states that customs released the package.
3.  Package was then sent to Anchorage, AK. For those that do not know geography (like some of the people that work for FedEx), Anchorage, AK is on the opposite side of Charlotte, NC.
4. From there, the package was sent back to Memphis, TN to be shipped over to Japan.
5. From Japan it appears to be in transit to China and now we have to wait for China to open (because I guess China is close for business at the moment, even though it was 7am in China when I got the call from FedEx) in order to find if the package is actually there.
6. At this point, FedEx does not want to state that the package is actually fucking lost and they don't have the slightest fucking idea as to where the darn package is.
7.  For a company that only focuses on delivering packages all over the fucking world saying that this is fucking human error and counting it as just one fucking human error not the 4 different errors made while handling said package is beyond fucking unbelievable!!! This is not human error, this is fucking incompetence! Specially when handling a package that has a priority tag attached to it.  The damn post office does a better job than FedEx!!! That is saying something!!!!
9. The excuse that the airplane might not work and therefore it would delay my package a day or two, went out the fucking window when their tracking system states that the package had travel from one end of the country to another and then traveled to a different continent where it was not supposed to ever be in the first place, only to travel back to the original place... Looks like their fucking airplane (because it appears that they only have one) is working perfectly fine!
8. We have to give them credit for something, I mean they were even proud of the fact that the package had made it to the United States at some point, congratu-fucking-lations!!!

For such a huge company to have this mishaps happen so fucking often, is beyond unacceptable, they charge an extreme amount of money to deliver packages and they cannot even do their job right... This is not the first time this happens either, a while ago I had a package that was paid to be delivered on Saturday and said package was sent out within the United States and it was not even a great distance that the package was supposed to travel... Said package was delivered Monday afternoon, not even Monday first thing in the morning... Monday afternoon!!!!  That is the level of incompetence that this company has and in all this mess they cannot even admit the fact that they screwed up and they did it big time!!! All they can say is sorry for the inconvenience, you will receive your package soon... and what the hell do they mean by soon? Well apparently it means whenever the fuck they find it...