When having been a victim/survivor of domestic abuse/violence there are too many times when you don't feel you're strong enough. There are way too many times when the abuser will tell you how weak you are, how you are nothing without them, how you are insane and everything is your fault. There are times when the abuser will have gained enough power to make you believe everything they say it's true.
If you are lucky enough to leave or think about leaving and ask for help, the majority of people will not believe what you have gone through. There will be times when people, other than the abuser, will tell you that you are crazy. There will be times when the abuse you have endured will be belittled because he didn't leave a physical mark but just a psychological one. There will be times when the abuser will have a new victim or other victims and those victims will take his side.
There will be times when even the people you love will not understand why you have changed so much, why you are afraid to go out, why if it was so bad you didn't leave before or why if it was so bad you went back many times. If you are so scared for your life then why go anywhere near them?
All of it will make you feel like you don't matter, that you don't have the strength to keep going. I'm here to tell you that you're stronger than you think and than anyone else thinks. You don't have to hurt others to make yourself feel better, that alone shows amazing strength. You don't blame anyone else for your actions and mistakes, you take responsibility for them.
Because you have learned that the majority of the time the system is not on your side, that most people do not understand unless they have gone through it themselves and that those who have gone through it like to keep it hidden because there is still so much stigma and victim blaming about it, you go through it on your own. You deal with the ups and downs and the fear mostly on your own.
I'm here to tell you that you're still here warrior, you are somehow making it on your own. You keep going somehow, you keep going without having to victimize another person in order to make your case stronger. You keep going without manipulating others with lies. You keep going without blaming others for what have happened even when you have all the right to do so. You are not just a survivor, you are a warrior because you keep fighting and that makes you stronger than you think you are.
