You think too much

People always tell me that I think too much, personally I feel people don't think enough! And all I have to do to prove that is look at my newsfeed on my Facebook and tweeter, all the different things people post, say and do.

Unfortunately lack of thinking is what gets all of us into trouble, I don't care who you are if you don't think about what you are saying, doing or about to do then you are bound to make a big mistake. 

Think about it! How many times have you gotten into an argument with someone because they just did not put in the effort to think about what you wrote or posted and ended up misunderstanding what you were trying to convey? How many times have you done something and someone did not put the effort into thinking about maybe asking you directly why you did such thing or maybe just put in the effort into thinking that if you are not harming anyone then it's none of their business what you do and should focus on thinking on ways to make themselves better!

This is usually what happens to me, and I'm sure someone will misunderstand all of this and say well I think all the time about all my problems and all the problems people have caused me so I think enough... Mmm no you are not! You are worrying and not thinking enough because of you were thinking enough you will come to an understanding that any problems that have already been caused can't be undone and therefore all you have left to do is move on and try to find a solution. If you think about what other people have caused you then you are still not thinking enough! You can't change people but you can change you, you can move on and get rid of those that have caused you pain and don't have the ability to change or that just really don't want to, if you were thinking enough you would come to realize that all you can really do is learn from the experience take what you have learned and move on....

How many times I've had people misinterpret what I've said or shared and later called me a hypocrite or tell me that I shouldn't share the things I don't really believe in... All because they just don't think enough! 

So seriously in my view people should put more effort into thinking about what they are doing and saying, I see all these kids and people doing all these stupid stupid stuff and wonder what the hell were they thinking, when the reality is that they really were not... 

Mistakes

I guess everyone has had someone hurt them in their lives, one way or another people are bound to hurt you sometime and you are bound to hurt some people sometimes... whether it is a boyfriend, a parent, a husband, girlfriend, wife, child, family member or friend, there will always be someone that will hurt you.

It's the sad truth, the sad reality, one we all must deal with... So how do we deal with it? There are people that will come into our lives and hurt us more than others, some will cause us greater pain just because we never expect them or we are taught that we should never expect them to hurt us.

Earlier I wrote on Facebook how we are never the same after we make a mistake or someone makes a mistake with us, I used a painted piece of wood as a metaphor: you paint the wood, start writing letters on it and make a mistake so them you have the choice of painting over it or sanding the mistake down and starting over, either way the wood is never the same and either way it takes time and effort to fix the mistake. See if you paint over the wood the mistake is under that paint, it's covered but it's still there and if you don't paint over it enough the shadow will always follow; on the other hand, if you sand it down you will have marks of the sand paper over the wood, no matter how hard you try the marks will remain there and it also takes a lot of effort and lots of patience...

So does fixing a relationship, it takes effort, it takes patience but most of all it takes two people to come to an agreement that the same mistake will not be repeated and to actually make the commitment that the mistake won't be repeated, then you can sand down and afterwards create something better, something stronger and more beautiful!

But what happens when the other person is unwilling to sand down the mistake? To paint over it enough to hide it and forget about it because with time it will be covered with something beautiful, then should you go ahead and spend time trying to fix that piece of wood? You shouldn't, you can't force someone to forget, to create new and better memories, sometimes people come into out lives just so that we learn a lesson, sometimes those people are someone we had one of the best relationships with and that's why it hurts us most when we have to let them go, especially if we made the mistake that hurt them and they are unwilling or unable to give a second chance... Then it is ok to go find a new piece of wood and create something better with it, not making the same mistake you made before and being grateful that you could learn from the past one.

What if you come to an agreement with this other person and apologies are given all around but after a while the person makes the same mistake again? Basically they created something beautiful only to throw an ugly color of paint over it after a while... Do you then try to fix that piece of wood again or do you walk away from it? Is it then fixable? Is it worth it? Maybe it is, but most likely it is not... A person that is given a second chance and ends up making the same mistake again is a person that is unwilling to change, so no matter how much you sand down the wood, how much you paint over it again, it will take more effort, more strength to build something better and more beautiful, and after it is built if the other person has not changed they will ruin it again... So it's best to walk away because at that point they've confused a second chance with the acceptance of bad behavior, and you should never accept bad behavior. 

What about this: what about a person hurts you but they never apologize? What if they think that what they did was correct, if they think it was correct then there is no need to apologize, even when you tell them that they've hurt you they blame you for it... At some point if you are very close to this person you start to believe it and then you try and work on sanding down the wood, on painting over it but since the other person does not think they made a mistake they keep throwing the ugly paint over the wood and then what? Should you keep working on making the wood beautiful? No, you shouldn't. This is also accepting bad behavior and a relationship will never be good if one person just accepts the bad behavior of the other because at one point this person will end up breaking the wood to the point of it being unfixable, and after the wood is broken they will break you! And you are like a piece of glass, if it is broken and you try to glue it together it's never the same... However, you can always pick up the pieces melt them together and make a better you, once you've walked away from those that only know how to break things.

With all the examples above, when you find that you can't save the relationship, when you find it that it is not worth creating something new, or that you tried to do so but couldn't, you will also find yourself broken in millions of little pieces like when a glass breaks, because every time we can't fix a relationship with someone we love we get broken. But if we have the courage, if we find the strength and the patience to pick up all those little pieces, melt them up and make something better, make ourselves better it is then that we have not really lost because when we can transform pain into a positive thing, when we use it as a drive to become better ourselves rather than use it as a force to stop us from keeping going then we have won something that very few have learned: the power of self-transformation, the power to rise from the ashes and not let our past mistakes define us and with that we earn the power to attract good to us because the better we become, the more we convert pain into something positive the more we will attract people that do just that and what a gift that can be! So don't ever feel bad for those pieces of wood that couldn't be fixed, learn from them and become a better you! And with those that you are able to fix and create something more beautiful, cherish those! They don't come along very often, those are the ones that will continue to become more and more beautiful as time goes by, those are the second chances that make life worth it, that fill life with hope and you can't never go wrong with something that fills you with hope! 

Do you trust you?

A few days ago I got a text from a friend asking me to research a company to see if she should go work with them or not.  I asked her what she wanted to do and her answer was that something was telling her to go for it but she was scared that it would turned out bad.

My answer was: "go with what you are being told." She is one of those people that will never go with her "gut feelings", her instinct, that little voice inside telling you to take the leap.  I was like that once, then as time went by and different things happened in my life good and bad I realized that when I follow that little voice inside the one that gives you the crazy idea that fills you up with fear just thinking about it, things always turned up good.

So the question is: what is this voice? I don't know, I could sit here and say it's a higher being, that it is God, that it's angels watching over you and if you don't believe in any of that you will start treating me like a total mental case and completely dismiss me. That voice could also be you, a higher version of you, a you that has the power to know what will happen next without having all the pieces that are needed to put the puzzle together but that can see the full picture, it's the part of you that seems irrational at the moment because all the information is not completely given. 

Yes, I think that exists, you can call it whatever you want, we all have it! There is one voice that guides us to what our deepest heart's desires are, one that is in sync with our soul and that will never take us through a path of destruction. But do you ever trust that voice? Do you ever trust that you? Do you trust it maybe sometimes or when it makes the most sense or do you completely dismiss it?

It's extremely hard to completely trust it, being that extremely logical being I once was I can attest that the hardest things I've done in my life is to begin to trust that voice, and even now there are times when I totally dismiss it, I dismiss it for that "this is what I want to do right now" voice or that "this is what I should do right now" voice, but I've learned, I've gone back to every time I could remember hearing the voice and then remembering what happened after I did or did not do as the voice said and I found that the more I did not listen to it the more trouble I would find myself into. It was like I was taking detours to my final destination and it was taking me way longer to get there and along the way I would become miserable. 

So why not listen to it more closely? For those who pray do you ever think that maybe your prayers are being answered but that you are too busy praying which is like someone talking when they should be listening and therefore you miss out on the directions you need to follow to get to the life your soul has always wanted? That happiness that can't be reached by doing what other human beings tell you to do but only by following the desires of your soul. 

It's never too late to learn to trust that inner you, it's never too late to believe in something a little greater than yourself even if that is part of you. It's never too late to find true happiness and to follow your dreams... So go on, learn to trust that higher you! Those angels, instincts, God, soul... Whatever you want to call it, learn to trust it, I promise that when you do so your life will start to change so drastically and for the better that you will not believe what's happening!