Getting offended (I really don't know what else to call this one)

Where do I start...
I've been thinking lately about people and how offended they get about the most ridiculous and stupid things, a few weeks ago I had posted one of my many rants in my Facebook page, my rants always include words that apparently are not very appealing to the "general" public; yes I use "bad" words a lot when I get angry and lately I have to admit I have been getting a lot more irritated than usual but I know where it is coming from and why, therefore I am just riding the wave because I also know that at some point things will change and the source of my irritation will disappear and I will go back to smiling and being absolutely joyful to be around 99.9% of the time... yes I don't say 100% because there is not one person in the universe that can say that they have never gotten angry.
With that said... You are allowed to get angry (I think I have covered this before but I could not stress it enough!!!) and you are allowed to rant and you are allowed to use whatever words you want to use in order to express that anger, so long as you are not insulting a person directly that does not deserve to be insulted, then go for it!!! There have been a lot of different studies made about the use of such "foul" language, and let me tell you that most of the studies state the positive of using such words as fuck, cunt, bitch, ass and whatever else I am missing right now that we tend to use especially when we get angry or irritated.
Anyhow, where was I... Ahhh yes, my Facebook rant.... So I used the word fuck in said rant and in a couple of others and what did I get? an entire thread full of comments that all they really did was irritate me even more... why? Because they made absolutely no sense and the more I think about them the more I realize how I wish I could feed some common sense and  knowledge to some people, I mean I was even told that I was cursing my soul because I was using such "bad language" and then I asked myself: what the hell is bad language? To me bad language is language not spoken or written properly, but the word fuck was written exactly how it is supposed to be written, then I was told how offensive it was, so I think to myself: wait a minute, I was not insulting anyone directly, I was insulting a bag of candy, I had written: fucking candy and I am sorry but unless the candy is capable of feeling anything, which by the way it is proven that it cannot because is an inanimate object and therefore incapable of feeling anything including getting offended, then there is absolutely no need to get offended because someone says fucking candy...
With that said, how in the world is it that we get offended by words that are not even directed at us? if you don't like something that you are reading and whatever it is that was written was not intended towards you and it's not really harming a living thing, then why the hell would anyone get offended? I have come to the conclusion that anyone that does is an idiot, so if you are one of those people now you can get offended because yes I called you an idiot, it's a heck of a lot easier to just ignore someone's rant if you don't like it, don't read it, don't listen to it, no one is forcing you.
Just like no one is forcing you to read this either and I am pretty sure that someone will get offended because I used a word that is in the dictionary but that the majority of people think it's a bad word, and going back to the dictionary... the meaning of the word fuck is to have sex, that was it's intended meaning, it's something that the majority of people do at least once a week, yet they get offended when someone uses it in a sentence and even when we use that word in the slang terms the word fuck becomes even more harmless, in the slang terms we have meanings like:
to treat unfairly, to meddle with, to behave in a frivolous or meddlesome way, go away, to waste time, to ruin, to act stupidly or carelessly...
and people get offended by that??? just a word, one word...
I keep thinking about all of it and I keep getting to the same conclusion, this world is full of foolishness and stupidity, it's a world where we come up with the most ridiculous things in order to scare others into doing what we believe is best for them and not what they believe is best for them.  It's a world where there is little respect, where people don't really listen or read what others are saying and in the end they end up making up their own conclusions all while saying how they accept everyone the way they are and complaining how everyone wants to tell them how to do things and how they don't like it, yet they do it to other people...
Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, you say it and if the person takes it great if not then you keep on going, they make their own mistakes and they know how to lead their life however way they see fit, why? Because they are the only ones living it front and center, there is no possible way someone could ever tell you everything that happened to them in the day because that would take a full day to tell and we would still miss certain things that maybe at the time we believe are not of any value but that later on show some sort of role in our life.
Life is simple but we complicate it by living it the way we do, by getting offended for stupid things, by not listening to others when they are saying loud and clear how whatever they are going through has nothing to do with us, we ignore what we want to ignore and pay attention to what seems convenient to us, I guess that's how we survive but I don't think that is how we will ever be able to truly get along with others...

Balance, can we really achieve it?

I was on my morning bus ride coming back from dropping off my daughter to school, I get the same bus driver 4 out of the 5 days that I drop her off, she is possibly one of the sweetest persons I have yet to meet.

Being that we sort of "know" each other now because it has been weeks that I take the same bus at the same time and she sees me every day... We talk on the ride back and I was telling her how I wanted to go back to school, I mean I have just 2 more years and I'm done with my bachelor's degree so why not? But then I said to her: it's just so hard to find a balance between work, my daughter and school that that's the only thing holding me back, to that she shook her head and said: forget balance! There is no such thing as balance, nothing in life is balanced, it's not natural! One side of your hair is longer than the other, one arm is just a little longer than the other, one leg is longer than the other, and if you look at yourself in the mirror long enough you will start that one eye is probably bigger than the other one.

I smiled and realized how true that was! So I started thinking: is there such thing as balance? Do we ever achieve it in life? Well, everything is such a constant battle, nothing ever stops being one, you have to work in order to survive and love comfortably and even those people that have a lot of money, well they don't have a balance because the more money they have the more things they acquire and the more things they acquire the more they have to work in order to make sure that those things are maintained. 

So is it a loss cause trying to find a balance in life? Mmmm I don't know, I suppose an argument could be made on both sides, one would be well you will never really find a balance so instead of fighting for something you will never achieve why not think about it like this: if there is something you don't like about your life then change it if you can and of you can't then just go with it, there will be a moment when something will click and the opportunity to change it will appear.

On the other hand the argument is made that if you don't find a balance then you will lose yourself, your soul will hurt and that's just not the life you were meant to live... Ehhh I guess in that sense we have to try and find some sort of balance but then again if there is no such thing then would our efforts just be complete waste of our time and bring on more stress than necessary to our lives?

Yup! That's exactly what it would be, looking for something that does not exist, something perfect to us, we will never achieve that perfection we want, that which is different for everyone, because the more we learn and we learn every day the more we want to change things around is, the more we learn the more we evolve and guess what? As we evolve we also want to change things around....

Balance in life cannot be found because of this so yeah instead of stressing over it and following the norm, just change that which you can and want to change and the rest... Just go with it, try it and see if it makes a difference in your life.

Do we ever really heal?

A question I've been asking myself lately, do we ever really heal? but what does healing really means? Does it mean that we move on and we are able to look back at whatever happened as just a memory? or does it mean that we just don't talk about it anymore, that it does not affect us in any way, shape or form later on, that we never look back and think about it with regret...
Everyone says that we should live a life that has no regrets because even when we have done something wrong we still have learned a lesson, so if the lesson was learned then why regret it? That even when we meet the wrong people we still learn something from them so why regret meeting them? why regret having spent time with the wrong people because if we hadn't then we wouldn't know who the right people are...
Well we are all human, we will have regrets and maybe we will tell ourselves at some point that if this had not happened then this would not have happened and we would go on and on, and eventually we would make ourselves find a way to make it all make sense, and if we can't do it, then we convince ourselves that one day it will all make sense and that's how we go on, but do we really heal?
I don't think we really do, we keep in our minds that which hurt us and if a similar situation arises then we run, we pull away just to make sure that we don't get hurt again, it's human nature and nothing more, we protect ourselves from getting burned again by not putting our hands in the fire, because after the first time we knew that it hurt so why even try again? Maybe to create some sort of resilience, but when we do that we numb ourselves and suddenly we don't feel anymore....
So which one is good? to not get hurt again or to put ourselves in a position to not feel anymore, because nothing in between can really happen, after a while, after enough bad things have happened, suddenly you just don't care but why would you? if that's all you know then you get up and keep going, and then you learn to pretend that it does not bother you, you learn to keep a smile on your face even when you feel like everything will fall apart in just one minute....
On the other side if you don't jump in for the opportunity that life has given you then are you really living? So many contradictions about everything, how do we even know that we are alive? Is it because we feel? or is it because we have the ability to heal and learn?
My mom keeps telling me that growing hurts, maybe that's why we hurt so much, because we grow with every bad thing that happen to us, or with every "mistake" we make, and then it goes back to, do we ever heal?
I feel like we don't, even when we think we have, something new comes up and that reminds us of a different issue we had before and suddenly everything piles up one on top of each other and you think that there has to be a point when it will all stop, and life will make sense again, that peace will be restored... But it never really is, because as we grow we get more things to learn, we get more lessons that life throws at us, and it is never ending... We look back and think well I wish I was a kid, that's when things were so easy,  but when we are kids we wish we were adults because we would get more freedom...
We never really get the time we need to heal, because that's just how life is, in the one moment that you are taking a time out to heal and forget and move on, in that very moment life throws you another ball, have you ever notice that? Life does not allow us to really truly heal, because if it did then we would make the same mistakes over and over again and then what would the point of that be?
There is this saying that says "I'd rather live a life of oh wells than a life of what ifs", do we ever really truly mean the oh well, it did not work out but at least I tried and then never look back and asked what if I did not try, what if I missed out on something greater? We will never know but I am sure that we all ask...
I am not sure that we will ever get to truly heal, I think we will all go on pretending that we did and that's how the world will continue to keep moving, and I am not sure that is such a bad thing, maybe that is what keeps us alive, the knowing that we made a mistake, the regretting it, the asking what if I had done something different? Those are questions that at some point in our lives we will ask ourselves and someone will come along and tell us how it is not a good idea to regret anything, that the what ifs don't matter because you can never prove them, so you push them back and teach yourself to not ask those questions anymore, but do me a favor please do, take the time to feel that if you did something wrong well you did it, no one expects you to be perfect, I am not saying accept it completely and don't change, I am saying that is ok to regret, it's ok to ask what if? what is not ok is to stay in that same pattern for the rest of your life, at some point find the answer that makes the most sense to you and go with it... because why not? why not ask, why not regret? maybe if people regretted more then our world would have changed for the better long time ago, but then again we only regret what we have or have not done, even though we are told to never regret what we have done, what's done is done, and then we are told to regret that which we did not do... The world is so full of contradictions!!! So tell you what, regret whatever you want to regret and ask what if to whatever you want to ask what if to, just try to not get stuck on it, at some point take the time you need to lay down and sleep on it, sometimes we are just too tired and then all makes sense the next day... Or maybe it doesn't but if it doesn't then there is one more day you were given to figure it out right?

That girl

I am the girl that will never judge you,

the one that will always be there for you,

the girl that you can always count on,

the one that will never leave,

that one girl that will always understand you,

the girl you'll always come back to,

the one you might use as your crutch when all else fails and you feel lost,

that one girl that will always calm you down with her smile,

the one you treated like the rest but one day you realized she was not,

that one girl that will always love you no matter what,

the one that will have for you a love so pure that you will never understand,

that one girl you would love to hate,

the one that you'll always try to push away,

the girl that will show you the loyalty you deserve,

the one that will get on your last nerve, 

that girl that you will never understand,

the one that knows exactly who you are,

the girl you want to stay away from but you just can't, 

that one girl that as much as you'll think you want her to leave, will never leave your side,

because I'm the girl that you never really had.

The moment I was unexpectedly surprised by a Tim Burton's movie...

I've been working on a cross stitching project for quite sometime now and about a month ago I have finished the face of one of the characters from the picture, I still have ways to go, and really when I started it I had no idea how massive this thing would be, and I really did not know how it would look in the end cause all I really had was the original picture for it and not a finished product.

The cross stitch project is a picture from the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas, I finished miss Sally's face and I have to add that she is just stunning!!! I love all the colors that this thing has, but the more I see her face the more I think of the movie. I have to admit that I am not a big fan of Tim Burton's movies mostly because the trailers always seemed so darn dark and scary, and as a kid I never watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, it was not until this year that I actually sat down to watch the movie and I have to say that while I am still not a big fan of his movies, the meaning that I got from this movie was something unexpected and a bit refreshing...

Yes, yes I know I'm babbling now and it's like get to the point woman! So what is the meaningfulness of this movie according to me?

Well, first let's take a look at Sally, she is basically a creation of a mad man, created to keep him company and to be his servant, nothing more than that, she was a slave, she is confined in a room and not really allowed to go out into the world... But of course just like in any movie, you have to have that one character find a way out and save themselves because otherwise.... well who would watch the movie?

Then there is Jack, ohh silly old Jack Skellington, The Pumpkin King! The one that is praised by absolutely everyone in Halloween Town, everyone looks up to him, and you would think that Jack would be extremely happy about that, but he is not... And the reason Jack is not happy is because he has fallen into routine and lost all excitement, all he ever does is scare people on Halloween.  Jack is a wanderer, he wants something more, something new and exciting that will fill him up with joy and excitement and that will take away that lonely feeling he has, but no one else sees this, everyone else is excited about the same things over and over and they don't even question whether or not there is something more out there; except for Sally, Sally knows how he really feels, because she feels the exact same way, she is missing something too and does not really know what and she wants to tell Jack that he is not alone but she just does not know how.

There goes Jack falling into Christmas Town and then trying to explain and understand what Christmas is, trying to find that light of happiness and excitement of something new that he saw in Christmas Town by all the people in there, in his desperation to find something new, exciting and happy, he decides that he will take over Christmas just to get that excitement back, so he decides to become someone he is not in order to fill that void, here is the problem, anytime one tries to become someone they are not, whatever excitement you get from that "new" thing, fades away really fast, but Jack decides that he is going to go for it anyway since to him he can make Christmas even better! 

Sally is the only one that knows how much of a bad idea this is, and she is the only one that fears for Jack because she knows that this cannot end up well at all, poor old Sally loves Jack so much and she tries to tell him how bad of an idea it is and how wrong it is but Jack does not listen to her, he decides to ignore her and give her something to do, finally all that's left for Sally to do is go ahead and do what Jack asked of her and she does it because she loves him but she knows that Jack will end up getting hurt. 

Then Christmas Day comes and all that Sally can do is hope that what she has predicted will happen does not happen but as Sally expected it turns into a complete disaster, Jack still giving away gifts believes that all the children are thankful for them, and that all the people are actually happy with the gifts but because he is so into his own delusion he fails to realize that all the people are actually ready to take him down because they all know that he is not the real Santa Claus and instead of bringing cheer and joy he is actually scaring everyone, finally once the people take him down he realizes that it was a bad idea all along, but now he has to try and save Christmas, meanwhile Sally is listening how everyone already knows that Jack is not the real Santa Claus and she decides that she must help him, she goes and puts herself in danger to try and get Santa out of the Boogie's house and well.. she ends up getting trapped to later find out that Jack was taken down.
Finally after Jack realizes that he has to go back and that he should not have tried to be someone he really was not, he goes back to Halloween Town to get Santa back, and that's when Santa tells him that he should listen to Sally, because she is the only one that makes any sense there, then Jack looks at Sally and realizes just how much Sally cares about him, enough to have put herself in danger to help him out. In the end he sees that all he was looking for was right in front of him and the patience that Sally had to stick through all of it finally paid off, because in the end he saw they were meant for each other, they are the only two that saw things differently in Halloween Town and the only ones that could understand one another...
The movie shows us how sometimes we fail to see what's right in front of us, that any time we try to be someone we are not things don't turn out right, in fact things get messy.  And Sally, poor old Sally teaches us how sometimes we must be extremely patient in order to achieve something, that sometimes we must let the ones we love fall and get hurt because we cannot teach them everything, some lessons they must learn on their own, and in the end maybe they will learn and come around and maybe they won't but all we can ever do is just let them figure it out on their own...

I wish I could tell you how much I love you, I wish I could lose the fear of losing you, it's not like that fear should be there because one cannot lose something they never had, I wish you would let me show you how much you mean to me, how much I crave you every day, how much I want to be around you.
I wish I could just let you know how much you mean to me, I wish you knew that there is no one else that means as much as you mean to me, I wish you knew that I will never leave, that I will always be here and I won't let go.
Maybe our chance has long passed, maybe you and I were not meant to be more than just really good friends, maybe I need to move on, maybe you will never see what you have in front of you, maybe it was because I did not see what I had in front of me until I lost you, I wish you knew how much I would cherish you, I wish you knew that all I ever want to do is put a smile on your face, that all I want is for you to be happy, that my love for you is unconditional and that while it hurts to not have you the way I want you, I will still be there for you, that no matter what happens in this lifetime, my door will always be open.
I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, because maybe if you knew then you would come to me, but then I think I can't do that, I don't want to force you to come to me, I want you to come to me because you want to, because you desire, because it will make you happy, because if it does not make you happy then there is no point, if it is forced unto you, then there is no point, if I could only lose the fear I have of losing you, of speaking up, of letting you know that I was not ready for you when I met you, but now I am, that somehow you've won my heart without realizing it, and how it took me by surprise.
I care so much about you, I wish you would know, I wish I could tell you, I wish we could live a love story like no other, maybe I will always just be the girl that is there waiting for you to realize what there is in front of you, or maybe just waiting for you to say that which I know you hold back, out of fear, but I don't know fear of what, I wish you would tell me, I wish you could trust me enough to go for it, to show me you, the you I know exists, I love you more than words can say, I love you so much that sometimes it hurts.