I was chatting with a friend today and was asked what was a happy thing that happened to me recently, my answer was that this week I saw him shine... I had seen him at work sometime this week and there was this light surrounding him. Believe it or not I know that I was not the only one that saw it, you can always tell when the light of someone radiates on to everyone else, and you can always tell who the source of that light is.
So it got me thinking, or at least put this thought in my head, because long ago someone had said to me the same thing, their exact words were: "You walked in and you were shinning" now the day they saw me I was extremely ill and I really did not know what the heck they were referring to, let alone what the light they saw meant. As I kept getting more and more curious and reading more and more I learned about auras and the light they give out and I learned about our higher selves, the different planes of existence that people have come to philosophize about, etc etc...
But today I realized that the light they talk about is nothing but our souls radiating through and our souls are nothing more than a little child and just like little children who aren't afraid of anything, who fall down cry for a bit after they get the biggest bruise but then they go and do the exact same thing that gave them that bruise, they forget quickly, they will get yelled at for doing something they are not supposed to be doing but even after getting emotionally hurt by the words of their parents they still come back to them and give them a hug and they forget quickly that we have yelled in anger.
That is exactly how our souls are, they forget and they want to go ahead and try again, they don't remember getting hurt, they don't remember the words that were said or the beatings we got, they just know that the only thing they want to do is go for it, they just want to be happy... It is our human part that remembers everything, it is the human part of us, that physical being with a brain that tries to make everything logical and that learns and remembers sorrow and pain that takes over as we are growing up, we are wired to remember how we got hurt and why, and then in order to protect ourselves we unconsciously decide that we have to go ahead and stop our souls from taking over and we stop ourselves from our soul wanting to do the things it wants. We stop ourselves from loving because we are afraid we will get hurt, it has happened before so why do it again? We stop ourselves from daydreaming because our human side says that the majority of times those dreams will never come true, and so we stop ourselves from doing the very things that feed our souls, our higher self, that self that does not have any boundaries, that knows no bounds and that is all good, the self that comes from a higher being who knows no evil, and when we do that, the light that our souls radiate slowly starts fading... And suddenly yourself is covered in this ridiculous cloud and you start feeling ordinary.
But make no mistake the soul is more powerful than the human in us, it will find a way to come out and shine through no matter what you do to try and kill it, it might be that it shines after an encounter with some stranger and having one of the greatest conversations of your life, at which point you start thinking that life is not so bad, that things could get better, that there are people out there that are good... Or you will get really ill because when we do not feed our souls, which I think are what fuel us to keep going and the soul starts dying out then our life force also diminishes, and so we are found in a hospital bed tied to machines and praying to get better, even if we have never prayed before.
So how is it that we can make sure our souls don't die out, how do we overcome the fears we have all learned through the years, that fear of rejection so you won't hug a friend when they are close only because they might just push you away, or the fear of getting hurt so you stop showing how much you really love another, what about the fear of people leaving you behind and just walking away, so instead you just don't meet anyone else, instead you just stay quiet when you really want to talk about what's going on... All we have to do is listen to it, instead of listening to the logic of our brains, we have to shut that down sometimes and just listen to the voice of our souls, that part of us that is never afraid to take a chance, the part of us that does not remember being hurt but only remembers how happy we were when we were truly loving someone else, that part that does not remember someone walking away but remembers only the times those who walked away where around, and really when our human side remembers those good moments, no one can say that they don't immediately smile.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
The idea of God
The idea of God is not about one almighty being that is in complete control of everything, it's about one almighty being that is there to guide us and help us achieve what we want in life.... That was the thought that came to mind today...
After having what I would say was one pretty damn interesting night last night, and once again not being able to sleep but having great philosophical conversations, one with someone who probably did not even grasp what I was saying but was just a perfect stranger there making me feel like I was actually talking to someone when the reality was that I was just talking to myself, and while he did understood certain theories of mine I came to realize that most people are very set in their ways, very few people have the capacity of expanding their minds and actually giving another thought the possibility of it being a reality...
So yeah, we were talking about God, interestingly enough this older gentleman did not throw bible verses at me but instead he spoke about how he actually saw the existence of that almighty being (and this was not a conversation of whether the being exists or does not exists, this was a conversation what the being does if in fact it exists)
And then the words came... he said: "God is in control" and this was the first time I was actually able to explain to someone how terribly wrong that is, and actually able to say part of what I wrote in a previous blog... God is not in control! No one really is... and so I explain why? Because we live in a world where we depend on what other people will do in order for us to get to where we want to get to... and each person was given the power to go ahead and make up their own minds, therefore we have this being that knows exactly whats going to happen if we turn left and everyone else involved in that path does exactly what they are supposed to but that also gave every person involved a choice of either following that guidance, that little voice inside, or not... so then yeah I turn left like I am supposed to but the other person turned right like they were not supposed to and then boom!!! things change.
But do they really change that much? I mean can a small decision impact our lives in a way that it take us ten times longer to get where we want to get to? I think sometimes it does, and other times you just get lucky and everyone follows the pattern that they were supposed to follow and it's all a smooth ride.
So what is this God being that a lot of people believe in? He is a guide or she, depending on the religious dogma you have decided to follow. He is not the one controlling everything, but rather the one that can see further than we can, because let's face it we can only see so far into our near future, we can make many plans and most if not all might end up falling apart or being changed tremendously before we even get done planning....
Perfect example would be when we were in high school, 12th grade, we were asked where we saw ourselves in 5 years... while there are very fortunate people that got where they wanted to get in 5 years, the majority of us when we look back we realize that we would have never imagined everything that has happened to us in the past 5 years, and how we are no where near where we wanted to be but if we are lucky enough we will find that no matter what happened each day we are just happier than the last... And yes we all have those bad days but each day we have grown and that has taken us one step closer to wherever it is we wanted to be. And while none of us could have possibly imagined everything that has happened to us, we could not have ever seen any of it coming, I think God did, he knows the outcome of every step we take, but he is not controlling us and making us take it, he gives us choices, because even he knows that a human being is something that cannot be controlled. But he does see, he sees whats behind the building that you are approaching even though all you are able to see is that building in front of you, he knows when someone will not follow his guidance and will just follow the logic, and in all that chaos that we create, he is still able to guide us to get back on the right path, and he is still able to help us clean up whatever mess we have made. But not once does ever try to control us. He is our guide dog in a world full of blind people, and if we listen carefully we can avoid a bad collision.
After having what I would say was one pretty damn interesting night last night, and once again not being able to sleep but having great philosophical conversations, one with someone who probably did not even grasp what I was saying but was just a perfect stranger there making me feel like I was actually talking to someone when the reality was that I was just talking to myself, and while he did understood certain theories of mine I came to realize that most people are very set in their ways, very few people have the capacity of expanding their minds and actually giving another thought the possibility of it being a reality...
So yeah, we were talking about God, interestingly enough this older gentleman did not throw bible verses at me but instead he spoke about how he actually saw the existence of that almighty being (and this was not a conversation of whether the being exists or does not exists, this was a conversation what the being does if in fact it exists)
And then the words came... he said: "God is in control" and this was the first time I was actually able to explain to someone how terribly wrong that is, and actually able to say part of what I wrote in a previous blog... God is not in control! No one really is... and so I explain why? Because we live in a world where we depend on what other people will do in order for us to get to where we want to get to... and each person was given the power to go ahead and make up their own minds, therefore we have this being that knows exactly whats going to happen if we turn left and everyone else involved in that path does exactly what they are supposed to but that also gave every person involved a choice of either following that guidance, that little voice inside, or not... so then yeah I turn left like I am supposed to but the other person turned right like they were not supposed to and then boom!!! things change.
But do they really change that much? I mean can a small decision impact our lives in a way that it take us ten times longer to get where we want to get to? I think sometimes it does, and other times you just get lucky and everyone follows the pattern that they were supposed to follow and it's all a smooth ride.
So what is this God being that a lot of people believe in? He is a guide or she, depending on the religious dogma you have decided to follow. He is not the one controlling everything, but rather the one that can see further than we can, because let's face it we can only see so far into our near future, we can make many plans and most if not all might end up falling apart or being changed tremendously before we even get done planning....
Perfect example would be when we were in high school, 12th grade, we were asked where we saw ourselves in 5 years... while there are very fortunate people that got where they wanted to get in 5 years, the majority of us when we look back we realize that we would have never imagined everything that has happened to us in the past 5 years, and how we are no where near where we wanted to be but if we are lucky enough we will find that no matter what happened each day we are just happier than the last... And yes we all have those bad days but each day we have grown and that has taken us one step closer to wherever it is we wanted to be. And while none of us could have possibly imagined everything that has happened to us, we could not have ever seen any of it coming, I think God did, he knows the outcome of every step we take, but he is not controlling us and making us take it, he gives us choices, because even he knows that a human being is something that cannot be controlled. But he does see, he sees whats behind the building that you are approaching even though all you are able to see is that building in front of you, he knows when someone will not follow his guidance and will just follow the logic, and in all that chaos that we create, he is still able to guide us to get back on the right path, and he is still able to help us clean up whatever mess we have made. But not once does ever try to control us. He is our guide dog in a world full of blind people, and if we listen carefully we can avoid a bad collision.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Colors
So here I was doing a word search puzzle, the title of it was "COLORS", it's interesting how much you can learn from a word search; I have found many words that I did not even know existed, today I have found what to me are the 6 most ridiculous color names.
1. Ashy... Really? Ashy? What the hell is the color ashy? I had to go and look this up cause it seriously does not even sound like a word to me and maybe that's because English is not really my first language but seriously ashy? Well, it turns out it is a damn color and maybe because I am a woman I should know what color that is well... no I seriously don't, I know shades and I will go with this is a different shade of red, or green, or brown, but I had no idea that each shade had a color name... so ashy, that color is apparently a pale grayish color.
2. Drab... drab is a dull light brown, apparently called drab because of a fabric that is made of that color, now again, this to me would just be a different shade of brown... in essence light brown... The more I think about this the more I realize how much easier it is to just generalize these colors, I feel bad for anyone that actually has to memorize them, the general population does not really know all these names and whoever does know them in order to use them they will actually have to be able to describe them....
3. Dun, this one is another shade of brown, mostly used to describe apparently the color of a kind of horse or a horse that has a particular gene called the dun gene... very interesting... again just another shade of brown with a new name...
4. Jet, this one is a shade of black... which is puzzling because to me black is black and there is not really shades of it, if you start giving me "shades of black" the black actually starts looking more like a dark shade of gray, but hey I did not invent all these color names...
5. Gilt, this is another name for gold, very straightforward since this is also use as the past tense of the word gild which means to coat with gold... however when did we start using verbs to describe colors? I guess some colors have more than one name, because gilt and gold are basically the same thing, there is not even a shade of difference based on what I've research so far...
6. Last but not least, and possibly the worst one of all... Vert! Vert!!! It's a shade of green by the way, no one could come up with anything better than Vert? and the reason I say this is because in Spanish green is verde, so basically all I see is the same word but take out the e and replace the d with a t, and I am pretty sure that vert is a word that might mean green in a different language but here... it's just another shade of green....
So here is the deal... after much thought I have come to the conclusion that human beings make things a lot more complicated than they need to be, I mean if you work with colors and what not, and you have to go ahead and show a specific shade of one color to someone then just show them the shade, now I understand that when you are trying to buy paint to say paint the walls in your house the people that sell the paint need to have a name for the paint you are looking for in which case I would preferably use numbers instead of making up names, and really when you are talking about colors even the shades of color change depending on who sells the paint, so it could have the same name but it will still look like a different shade... But then again that's just me... and maybe it's just my craziness that has me thinking of the ridiculousness of all of this... I mean gilt? really? vert? jet? I see the word jet and I think of a small airplane that maybe one day I will own... or not own depending on what I decide to do with my life...
Also, as a person that likes to paint and create all different things with different shades of colors before I get a whole bunch of creative people on my butt about how to them there are many different colors and they like each of them to have a name... let me tell you something, when I am making something I look at the shades of the colors, I don't look at the name, I look and focus on the particular color, not on its name...
1. Ashy... Really? Ashy? What the hell is the color ashy? I had to go and look this up cause it seriously does not even sound like a word to me and maybe that's because English is not really my first language but seriously ashy? Well, it turns out it is a damn color and maybe because I am a woman I should know what color that is well... no I seriously don't, I know shades and I will go with this is a different shade of red, or green, or brown, but I had no idea that each shade had a color name... so ashy, that color is apparently a pale grayish color.
2. Drab... drab is a dull light brown, apparently called drab because of a fabric that is made of that color, now again, this to me would just be a different shade of brown... in essence light brown... The more I think about this the more I realize how much easier it is to just generalize these colors, I feel bad for anyone that actually has to memorize them, the general population does not really know all these names and whoever does know them in order to use them they will actually have to be able to describe them....
3. Dun, this one is another shade of brown, mostly used to describe apparently the color of a kind of horse or a horse that has a particular gene called the dun gene... very interesting... again just another shade of brown with a new name...
4. Jet, this one is a shade of black... which is puzzling because to me black is black and there is not really shades of it, if you start giving me "shades of black" the black actually starts looking more like a dark shade of gray, but hey I did not invent all these color names...
5. Gilt, this is another name for gold, very straightforward since this is also use as the past tense of the word gild which means to coat with gold... however when did we start using verbs to describe colors? I guess some colors have more than one name, because gilt and gold are basically the same thing, there is not even a shade of difference based on what I've research so far...
6. Last but not least, and possibly the worst one of all... Vert! Vert!!! It's a shade of green by the way, no one could come up with anything better than Vert? and the reason I say this is because in Spanish green is verde, so basically all I see is the same word but take out the e and replace the d with a t, and I am pretty sure that vert is a word that might mean green in a different language but here... it's just another shade of green....
So here is the deal... after much thought I have come to the conclusion that human beings make things a lot more complicated than they need to be, I mean if you work with colors and what not, and you have to go ahead and show a specific shade of one color to someone then just show them the shade, now I understand that when you are trying to buy paint to say paint the walls in your house the people that sell the paint need to have a name for the paint you are looking for in which case I would preferably use numbers instead of making up names, and really when you are talking about colors even the shades of color change depending on who sells the paint, so it could have the same name but it will still look like a different shade... But then again that's just me... and maybe it's just my craziness that has me thinking of the ridiculousness of all of this... I mean gilt? really? vert? jet? I see the word jet and I think of a small airplane that maybe one day I will own... or not own depending on what I decide to do with my life...
Also, as a person that likes to paint and create all different things with different shades of colors before I get a whole bunch of creative people on my butt about how to them there are many different colors and they like each of them to have a name... let me tell you something, when I am making something I look at the shades of the colors, I don't look at the name, I look and focus on the particular color, not on its name...
Monday, March 10, 2014
-What's new?
-I don't think you would be interested....
-What makes you say that?
-It just always seems like you are busy with other things, there is always something more interesting than whatever is going on with me, I mean sometimes I even think I am not interesting enough for myself...
Then I start thinking that maybe it's just that I have found myself in a place where the only thing I have to complain about is little stuff that is not even worth mentioning...
Have you ever thought how most times people once they know each other they mostly start talking about what goes wrong in their lives rather than what is positive?
It's so easy to point out every negative thing, but to sit there and actually say hey you know what I have nothing to talk about because I have nothing to complain about... So I did not sleep for 4 days, yes I am tired but I have the power to work as little or as much as I want, I am working for myself and doing things that have a bit of meaning which is great and even though the fear of not making it to the next month, of not having enough money to pay for bills is there, it's not as bad as having to work for people you don't like and listening to other people complain about meaningless things.
So yeah I have not much to say, and even if I did I don't think it would really matter, most times we are ask what's new or how is it going just out of courtesy for the other person in front of us because really, how many times have you actually wanted to ask that question willingly? I mean do you really care enough about the other person to want to know how they are doing? Maybe it's just me, maybe it's just the fact that I believe most people complain about the most stupid things and because of that I have become extremely detached to those that do just that... and then really when I ask those that I do care about and they tell me what they are going through and I am unable to help I become extremely frustrated, or even worse when I ask what can I do and their answer is nothing and they say it with that "I don't want you doing anything for me because you are not capable of helping me anyway" attitude, that just makes me feel worse so then why the hell would I bother??? The best policy is to just remain silent, after a while and after your willingness to help another is rejected so much, then you just feel like you should just never offer ever again, because obviously you are incapable to do anything for anyone and they obviously are stating they can do it on their own so now go get over your feelings of mediocrity and uselessness that they have just brought upon you... Ohh and by the way how you are feeling is all on you because no one can make you feel any way you don't want to feel....
-Wow!!!
-Yes, I know... even though I am extremely quiet, I have a lot in my mind... in fact when I am the quietest is when an extreme amount of thoughts are going through my mind... So much so that again it's better to stay quiet, because if I was ever to put out in the universe everything I was thinking I would never finish, and 99% of the people out there would have absolutely no clue as to what I was talking about, because sometimes even to me, I make no sense... So yeah nothing is new, all is good and the world is great!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade
Ok so I heard this song on Pandora today and first of all let me tell you that this song has no business being put on a Spanish Bachata Pandora station, like seriously Pandora? Total fail!!!
With that said, I have to admit that I was a fan of this song and I used to sing along every time I would hear it, but I never actually paid attention to the lyrics until today which is when it caught more of my attention because of the music I actually wanted to listen to...
Now has any of you actually listened or at least read the lyrics to this song? Maybe it's just me but I was like what? that makes no sense dude!!!!
Let's dissect it for a moment... (yes here I go again possibly over thinking stuff lol)
"The best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting, could it be that we have been this way before": Really? That's the best thing? and then could it be that they were like that before? So when was the last time that these two did not fight? and if all you do is fight then why the hell are you together... like seriously!!!
"But hold your breath because tonight will be the night I will fall for you over again"
What if it takes too long for him to fall in love with her over again? then she might just die holding her breath, I mean what if he tries to fall in love over again and it doesn't happen? I really do feel bad for this chick....
"Don't make me change my mind or I won't live another day, I swear it's true." Ok, so is he gonna die if she changes his mind about him falling in love with her over again? or is he gonna kill himself if she changes his mind about falling in love with her again? either way if she changes his mind then that means he does not fall in love over again and at this point it shouldn't be that big of a deal since obviously at the beginning of the song he is stating that they have been fighting a lot so it did not feel the same anymore plus it seems like he fell out of love with her in which case he is stating that he will either kill himself for someone he is not in love with or will somehow die for someone he is not in love with, either way too much unnecessary and stupid drama... smh!!!
"Because a girl like you is impossible to find" ok so obviously he is taking it a little too far cause he found her... duh! otherwise who the hell is he singing to? an invisible woman that does not really exist cause she is impossible to find? in which case then he is a total lunatic because he is falling in love with thin air... Or maybe he is just a great poet and he is really wanting to fall in love with air, but wait... he suggested that they were fighting a lot, so I guess he has been fighting with air, because how do you fight with someone that's impossible to find? if you can't find them then how do you fight with them? Also it would be pretty funny to see someone fighting with air, is that even possible??? (ok I think I am taking it too far now...)
Last but not least...
"You're impossible to find"
Ok if she is impossible to find then how the hell did you find her in the first place? like did you have some magic powers to make her appear? if so that is totally cool... But seriously, how is he with her if she is impossible to find?
I think I am done... glad I could get that one out of my head...
PS: One more thing... Seconhand Serenade? that's the name of the group? what the hell is a Secondhand Serenade? Did you give the serenade to someone and then when they were done with it you went and gave it to someone else and it was exactly the same? Wait a minute... Why the hell would anyone want a secondhand serenade??? this is nonsense to me!!!
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