Why should we be at peace with our mortality?

There are two ways to look at life.  The first one is as if every day you are given one more day to live, thinking that if you knew for sure this was your last day, how would you want your last day to go? Would you want to be happy or would you want to let things bother you?
The second one is seeing this day as one less day to live.  One day closer to the blissfulness that awaits us all when we pass. In this case, if you are one day closer to that blissfulness why not be happy about it?  Why not enjoy that you are almost done? Why not celebrate?
In either case none of the things that happen today will matter, so why let them bother you?
To me it does not matter which one you choose, each of them should be respected by others.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

In the process of ascension, one of the things we learn is to be at peace with our mortality.  To accept our mortality and that of others fully.  Spirit once said to me that only those who stay alive are the ones who suffer, everyone else is free.  I wondered what exactly Spirit meant by that and then I had a few people around me who lost someone they loved, each of them were devastated.  Everyone was crying, everyone was remembering all the things that they didn't do with them.  Everyone would point out how we all have very limited time and we should be happy that we are alive.  The misery that came from every death was astounding.  I couldn't understand because to tell you the truth, whether you believe in Spirit or not, when it comes to death... It is just an ending... It is the end of every bit of suffering, every bit of pain and so that person was not suffering anymore so why be so miserable that they were gone? Why not be happy that they are now free?

In my belief, the only thing that dies is our physical body and nothing else.  The physical body though is just a vessel to carry the energy that we are.  That energy is released and freed when we "die".  That energy goes back to the source of all life, to a place where there are no bounds.  And that place is the most amazing place ever.  It is a place full of peace and love; a love that no human could ever understand because it is a love that no matter what you do, you are worthy of.  And with this belief I started to realize how bad I just wanted to be there, how ready I was to go back to this place I call home.  The first time I felt this it felt bad that I wanted to go, it felt like I was resisting and everyone around me, those who are not as awaken just made the feeling be even worse.

Eventually I stopped saying anything, I just kept waking up saying to myself: "You have one less day here, you are almost home, you are almost done" and those words made me keep this joyous feeling alive, it made me smile.  Everyone else was oblivious to it, they didn't know why I was so happy but I felt like I couldn't tell them because as soon as I did I would fall from my happy place.  They would all start to pull me down with their words and their lack of understanding.  Some of them would even stop talking to me, not realizing that more than likely when I actually do go home they would end up talking about how much they wish I was still here.  They would all start saying how much they missed me, but none of them would ever acknowledge that when they had me here, they pulled away out of fear of losing me.  It will all then be very hypocritical because the time to be around, the time to talk, the time to enjoy is now.  It is not tomorrow, it was not yesterday, it is today.

Two days ago I let people pull me down from that, as soon as I said I was ready to go home they all started to give me reasons why I was supposedly still here, why I needed to stay here.  Oddly enough all the reasons that they gave me were based on the same reason they were saying I should not want to die--selfishness.  There was not one of them that said to me: "You are almost there, so don't fret" each and everyone of them said something like: "I am happy that you are still here" or "I don't like it when you say that because I want you to still be here" or my favorite "There are people who still need you to be here".   It is pure selfishness, the same selfishness that they throw in someone's face when someone says they don't want to be here.  All those statements are about them, they are not about me, they are about how they feel and what they would feel when I am no longer in physical form.  It is not about caring about me, it is caring about them.  It was not respecting the things I wanted, but only making sure that the things they wanted happened.

It used to bother me that they didn't understand, that they didn't get it.  It was frustrating that they didn't see how selfish they were too by putting themselves before someone they say they care about.  I asked Spirit why it was that I was so bothered by this, why is it that I wanted them to understand so much.  And then I realized that I was putting too much weight on the things that people who are unable to understand my path (they really don't have to) are feeling.  You see, I am not here to make anyone feel better.  I am not here to control anyone else's feelings.  I am here to guide some of those who are open to learning, those who are open to understanding of a different way of seeing things.  I am not here to push anyone to believe any different, I wish people could respect what I believe more but I also know that I can't make them.  And so my other job is to not let them affect me, what they want and what they feel is not my concern.  Giving guidance does not mean the others will do as what they are being guided to do, no matter how much you would want them to.

So what next? Since I realized that most humans are not capable of being at peace with their mortality, I have also realized that the more I point it out, the more of those people who are not in alignment with me will go.  The more of those people who don't really care will walk away, because they can't handle it and that is ok.  The relationships will evolve to something different and that will be amazing to watch and create.  It won't mean I love each of them any less either.  It will just mean that their actions, no matter how much I care about them, won't bother me.  It also means that I will not be afraid of telling them that whatever they feel about whether or not I am here in physical form or not, does not matter to me because they don't get to choose what will get me to my happy place.  They are not in charge of my happiness, I am.  And because I am in charge of my happiness, I get to choose how I get to that happiness, they just need to worry about how they are going to get to theirs.

So why should we be at peace with our mortality?  Because we are all going to die.  The sooner we come to accept and be at peace with that, the sooner we will start living life differently.  The sooner we will not worry about the things we can't control.  The better life will flow because then you realize that no matter how you look at life, whether it is one less day to live or one more day to live, what happens today will not matter when we are no longer here, whether we die today or in 30 years is irrelevant.  All we gotta do today is celebrate either that you are closer to your destination or that you were given an opportunity to do something different.  Either way, the goal is the same--to get happy.  Whichever way you choose to look at it is up to you, all the rest of us have to do is respect it.

I don’t belong

I’m tired...
Dear God, I’m so tired of being here,
I’m tired of the struggle,
I’m tired of the indifference,
I’m tired of you giving me happiness only to take it away,
I’m tired of the constant fight,
I’m tired of the bickering,
I’m tired of the lack of freedom,
I’m tired of being in this body,
Every day and every moment I ask for you to make it the last,
And somehow I keep waking up,
Somehow you still keep me here,
You still keep me trapped,
You still keep me hurting,
You still keep the sorrow going,
I didn’t want this, I don’t want this,
I need you to let me go back home,
This is not home,
This is a hell you created for us,
I’ve done what you asked of me...
I don’t belong here, I don’t belong with them,
They don’t understand who I am,
They are ungrateful for what is given,
They are always gonna be unhappy,
They don’t know how to really love,
What’s worse of all dear God is that
These humans will never allow themselves to be loved by us,
So do me a favor, just one tiny one,
Let me be free now, let this physical body rot
And let my spirit be free again...

What is love?

Love is... There are really no words to describe what love really is...
Love is intense, it knows no bounds,
Love forgives, it knows no faults,
Love cares, no matter what,
Love gives, without taking anything back,
Love is the greatest experience, is the best emotion.
Some say love hurts but they would be wrong,
Love knows no bounds, love just flows...
If only you knew what that meant,
If only you knew how much you’re loved,
If only you knew how much you’re worth,
If only you knew...
Love shares, love is always there, love never dies,
Love accepts, love never judges, love grows,
Love sees only the best,
But most of all love never gives up, love is never defeated...
I love you...

A Short Love Letter

I love you, I don't say it lightly... I really do love you.  I find myself thinking about how you are doing every day, every night.  I find myself wanting to tell you all the good things that happened in a day.  I find myself wanting to talk to you about anything and everything.  And then I remember that you decided to not be part of that.  I remember that there are things you must work on.  I remember how you feel and it hurts.  It hurts because I know you are hurting, it hurts because all I want is for you to be truly happy and I know that you are not.  It hurts because I can still see us working through all the crap that life can throw at us and be successful.  It hurts because I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, then maybe you could see that you are not alone.  It hurts because you are in a place where you can't see it.  It hurts because I know that you hurt that you have not had the right people around you for a long time.  It hurts because I know that you know I wouldn't just leave, I would stay, but because of the things you have done in the past you feel you are not worthy of such love.
When I say I love you, I mean I am here for you.  I mean I am not going anywhere.  I mean that I don't really care how hard things get, I will stick it out.  I mean I won't abandon you, I mean I won't judge you.  I mean I will forgive you, do my best to understand you.  I mean I am not going anywhere.  I wish you would see that, I wish you would stop punishing yourself.  I wish you would realize that we all make mistakes and that we can all learn from them.  I wish you would care about you just as much as I care, then you would know that you don't need to self-punish.  Then you would know to not put yourself in situations that make you feel worse.  Then you would value yourself enough to go towards what you really want.
I love you and I wish you loved yourself just a tiny bit of what I love you.  I wish you would understand what love truly is and would start to cherish it more.  I have already forgiven you, I wish you would forgive yourself too and give yourself another chance.  I love you and I wish you loved yourself too.

The Broken Man

There was once a broken man,
he walked alone in the night sky,
full of fear and despair,
looking to be loved,
looking to be nurtured,
looking to be accepted,
thinking he was not worthy,
thinking he would never find the love he was seeking,
A day came when he asked God
to send him that love he didn't know existed,
shortly after she showed up,
with a sweet smile and the sweetest look,
with a patience he has never seen before,
she showed him that he could be loved,
she showed him that he could be nurtured,
she showed him that he could be accepted,
she showed him that there could be light,
she showed him that he didn't need to walk alone in the night,
he had finally found what he had desperately been seeking for,
God had finally answered!
but then that wretched fear kicked in,
the doubt started to fill his head,
looking for some clarity in the midst of chaos
he asked his lady: why do you love me?
and with a smile she answered: because I have no reason not to.
And then he knew that there was never going to be another night when he would walk alone.

The Night Sky

Out in the night sky

I look for you,

I wonder if you look for me too.

It does not matter who comes and goes

The only one I want is you.

Maybe one day you will have the courage

The courage to realize that this is where you belong

The courage to forgive yourself

The courage to start over

The courage to give our love another chance 

Until then, I will always look for you out in the night sky,

Hoping that you are looking for me too.

For you

I didn’t know I could open myself up to love again,
And then I met you,
I didn’t know I could find someone who I could call my partner,
Someone who would walk side by side with me,
Someone who would share the road with me,
And then I met you,
It all seemed like a dream come true,
And I never realized that most of your life
Dreams had turned to nightmares at the moment they seemed the happiest,
The fear of the dream becoming a nightmare made you want to run
Run before it hurt you,
Run because you couldn’t deal with that hurt again,
And in trying to run, you hurt me,
It was easier to blame yourself than to be hurt again,
It was easier to run than to confront your fears,
It was easier to make yourself believe I needed you more than you needed me,
The thing is my love that the dream only became a nightmare because you pushed it that way,
The thing is my love that I never allowed you in my life because I needed you,
I allowed you in my life because I loved you,
And it is that love that would have never allowed this dream to become a nightmare,
Too bad that you were unable to see it...