How can I miss you when I never really had you?
Maybe it is that I love you? But how can I love you if I barely know you
Maybe I know you more than I think I do, maybe all it took is one look at your true self to know who you are inside and maybe I liked who I saw.
Maybe it was when you started to be honest with yourself and then honest with me, honesty is what I have always appreciated the most.
Maybe it is just that I am tired and I want someone here and the first person to come to mind is you.
But why you? Why not someone else? Why are you the first one in my mind?
Sometimes I wish things were different, that things would be easy and flow, I wish my life wasn't so hard so I could spend more time with you.
Then I realize how boring life would be if things were easy, how much more aware of disappointment I would be and maybe if I was so aware of disappointment then I would not be able to live or to be around others.
In life I learned to not expect anything from anyone, to give without the expectation of getting anything back, to love unconditionally and above all, to always smile no matter what.
I have to say that sometimes I'm tired of smiling, sometimes I just want to yell and say I'm done, I need a break or I will break, sometimes I just want to cry and I want you here, just holding me while I get back together and get back up, because my fits never last long, I know that life gives you what you can handle and that the bad is there to appreciate the good; and when I realize that again, I start smiling again and then I want you there to smile with me.
But I don't have you, one of the reasons is because I don't own you, and I wouldn't want to own you, I would want you to come to me because you wanted to not because I made you.
The greatest moment in life is when you have the one you want without owning them, you have them because they want you back, that's how I would want it for us, because then it would all flow, it would be easy, there would be trust and respect and that's what a good relationship always needs in order to work out.
I don't know why I miss you when I never really had you, or why I feel like I love you when I barely know you, maybe it is just me and it will pass, other feelings have passed too, in the meantime I wish you the best, I wish you are happy, I wish you have someone you can cry with when you need to (we all need to cry every once in a while and it is ok to cry), I wish you never forget that even in the darkest hour you can always find a reason to smile.
Never forget that there is always one person that will always be just a phone call away...
No comments:
Post a Comment