I am getting ready to take a trip and while packing I started adding certain things that I might probably not need during my trip so I realized why women are thought to over pack for a trip...
Wanna know why it seems like women over pack when they go on a trip?
1. We not only have to have one outfit per day of the trip, we also have to make sure the shoes match the outfit.
2. Even if we can get outfits for every single day that we will be on the trip to match with one pair of shoes, we always think: "mmm maybe I should take another pair and another "type" of outfit just in case we do something different that will require a different attire."
3. after we have gather an outfit for each day and its matching under garments, plus shoes, and the additional outfit, we tend to think: "mmm maybe one of the days I will not feel like wearing this particular outfit so maybe I should take two more just to make sure that I have enough choices just in case I don't want to wear one of the other outfits I have picked out."
4. Most women, I don't do this, but most women have to accessorize, you have the outfit and you gotta get the matching scrunchie, headband, jewelry, and whatever else they think that is needed to "make" the entire outfit look amazing.
5. Once we have the outfits figured out, now we have to add hair and beauty products. This one is a tricky one, you have at least 5 different types of brushes only for the hair, then you have the makeup, the hair dryer, the straightening iron, the shampoo, the conditioner, the body wash, the face wash, the moisturizer; some women also have the gel and the hair spray and the oils for their hair to get it straight faster.
6. After all this we have to add all the additional items that we might or might not need, for example one of my moms will travel with her hair cutting scissors (you never know who might need a haircut); then you have blankets (cause maybe the hotel you are staying at does not have enough); towels (why use the ones in the hotel?); computer, at least one movie, one book (just in case the vacation gets boring); additional bag or purse (because one is not enough); snacks (cause we can't wait to gain that vacation weight), and whatever else that might come to mind that will be needed at some point.
After all of this, how can anyone possibly expect a woman to leave her house with just one small luggage bag?
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
My view on abortion
I know the abortion subject is one that is very controversial, I am not writing to judge anyone or say anything bad about any body; I am simply writing to express my view on the subject.
Recently I have been reading a lot about abortion and about how wrong it is, how it should be considered murder to have an abortion. On the other hand I hear how it is a woman's choice and it should always be her choice, I mean no matter what it ends up being our bodies that go through the pregnancy and labor.
I have also read many people say that taking contraceptives should not be allowed, that insurance companies should not cover them because they go against what we were put in this earth to do, which is procreate.
I recently read someone that posted something that caught my attention, she said "I believe God gives us all life, should we continue to challenge him on when life begins?". This thought makes an interesting point, and one that people don't really think about. I am not a church goer nor do I read the Bible (I have my own views on that,maybe one day I will share those views with everyone), I do however believe in one source of energy, one supreme being that has to have created us, I mean we would like to think that we were all created from energy and that is all great and what not but where did that energy come from? it has to have a source. Call him or her God, or Goddess, or as I like to call it: Holy Spirit, for the purpose of this I will call him God, and I would like to say my view on this whole issue by answering that small question above.
I believe God created us with many purposes, one of them was to procreate, yes he made a woman and a man and each of us has things the other one needs in order to create a life. Most believe in what we have come accustomed to call free will (I love those two little words), that means we can choose what we want to do with our lives, that means a woman has a choice right?
Well, let's keep going then, when it comes to contraceptives: God created us, modern science has found a way to keep the general population of the world in some sort of control, back when there were only less than a third of the people that are currently living in this world, there was no form of birth control other than abstinence, back then people needed to be born so guess what God made it so that we could not find a way to not procreate, I mean had we had oral contraceptives back then more than likely the world would not be as heavily populated as it is right now, therefore this powerful being made it so that we would not figure out how to stop ourselves from procreating when we wanted to have sexual intercourse with our partners. I mean having sex is a natural thing, is something that men and women both want at some point in their lives and is something we enjoy, if we didn't we would not do it and there would be no need for contraceptives would it?
So, now we have discovered how to enjoy sex without the fear of getting pregnant, let's face it now a days most people don't have the time or the money needed to have more than 2 children, there are lots more things involved, women now work outside the home because two salaries are needed due to the fact that the cost of living has gone up, mostly due to so many people living in this planet; so here is what God did, he gave the idea to someone and allow them to find a way to still be able to have sex without having to add more people to society like it once was. Think about that for one second, if this all mighty God would have wanted us to continue procreating like bunnies, then we would not have found a way to not do it, would we?
This takes me back to that beautiful question and makes me ask myself: are we really challenging God when a woman has an abortion, are we challenging him as to when life really begins? Scientifically a fetus that is 20 weeks old cannot survive outside the womb, mommy is needed for the baby to survive, at 24 weeks the chances of survival are about 2% to 3%, as the baby keeps growing the chances of the fetus surviving become higher; if this supreme being that is God, the one that decides when life begins, had decided that life begins with the first heartbeat then wouldn't the chances of the baby surviving if a woman had it at 19 weeks of pregnancy be 100%? I mean right about now I am seeing it this way: The first few weeks of pregnancy the baby can't survive outside the utero, it cannot survive without being inside the mother's womb, so wouldn't that be God letting us make the choice as to whether we wanted to or not have that baby? wouldn't that be God giving us a chance to see whether we were ready or not to become a mom? Now I am not saying use abortion as a means of contraception, God has allowed us to find a way to enjoy our sexual pleasures without having to bring a life into the world when we don't feel we are yet ready, now this brief period of time when baby is not able to live outside mom's body I am seeing as: if that 1% chance of getting pregnant happened then I have the choice on whether or not I am ready to become a mom, every mom out there knows how hard it is to bring a child to the world, to raise them and provide for them, and yes some will say well that's easy just don't have sex until you get married or don't have sex unless you are willing to get pregnant or have sex and if it happened it is because God wanted that, well I say to them:
1. People are not gonna stop having sex, it is fun and unfortunately people enjoy it way too much to give it up, God made us that way.
2. God has allowed us to take care of ourselves and enjoy ourselves, otherwise we would have never found a way to try and prevent pregnancy.
3. God has already told us when life begins, life begins when a baby is able to survive outside mommy's body, when that chance of survival hits 1% that is when life begins, until then it has not yet begun, and I am a witness to this because 9 years ago my sister's mother, whom I call mom too because she has become like a mother to me in the recent years, had complications with her pregnancy, she went into labor when she was about 20 or 21 weeks pregnant, they tried to keep the baby inside as long as they could, finally a week or so went by and they had to deliver the baby. Mom almost died, and the baby had a 1% survival rate, the doctors all said she was not going to make it, but guess what? she did, she is alive and well today, the road was not an easy one but God decided that she would survive, God had bigger plans for that baby and bigger plans for mom.
So see, are we really challenging God as to when a life begin? I don't think so, there are many reasons why a woman might seek an abortion, again I am not here to judge any of them, they are all allowed to make their choice, whether they decide to have a child or not should be up to them, not anyone else, they should not be judged there is only ONE that will judge us all and we should leave that job only to him.
I am a mom and I am also a woman, I am not saying I would or wouldn't have an abortion, I am saying that given the circumstances I should be allowed to make that decision for myself and if we are going to include God in this dilemma, well, I believe God has giving us a small period of time where we can make that choice.
Recently I have been reading a lot about abortion and about how wrong it is, how it should be considered murder to have an abortion. On the other hand I hear how it is a woman's choice and it should always be her choice, I mean no matter what it ends up being our bodies that go through the pregnancy and labor.
I have also read many people say that taking contraceptives should not be allowed, that insurance companies should not cover them because they go against what we were put in this earth to do, which is procreate.
I recently read someone that posted something that caught my attention, she said "I believe God gives us all life, should we continue to challenge him on when life begins?". This thought makes an interesting point, and one that people don't really think about. I am not a church goer nor do I read the Bible (I have my own views on that,maybe one day I will share those views with everyone), I do however believe in one source of energy, one supreme being that has to have created us, I mean we would like to think that we were all created from energy and that is all great and what not but where did that energy come from? it has to have a source. Call him or her God, or Goddess, or as I like to call it: Holy Spirit, for the purpose of this I will call him God, and I would like to say my view on this whole issue by answering that small question above.
I believe God created us with many purposes, one of them was to procreate, yes he made a woman and a man and each of us has things the other one needs in order to create a life. Most believe in what we have come accustomed to call free will (I love those two little words), that means we can choose what we want to do with our lives, that means a woman has a choice right?
Well, let's keep going then, when it comes to contraceptives: God created us, modern science has found a way to keep the general population of the world in some sort of control, back when there were only less than a third of the people that are currently living in this world, there was no form of birth control other than abstinence, back then people needed to be born so guess what God made it so that we could not find a way to not procreate, I mean had we had oral contraceptives back then more than likely the world would not be as heavily populated as it is right now, therefore this powerful being made it so that we would not figure out how to stop ourselves from procreating when we wanted to have sexual intercourse with our partners. I mean having sex is a natural thing, is something that men and women both want at some point in their lives and is something we enjoy, if we didn't we would not do it and there would be no need for contraceptives would it?
So, now we have discovered how to enjoy sex without the fear of getting pregnant, let's face it now a days most people don't have the time or the money needed to have more than 2 children, there are lots more things involved, women now work outside the home because two salaries are needed due to the fact that the cost of living has gone up, mostly due to so many people living in this planet; so here is what God did, he gave the idea to someone and allow them to find a way to still be able to have sex without having to add more people to society like it once was. Think about that for one second, if this all mighty God would have wanted us to continue procreating like bunnies, then we would not have found a way to not do it, would we?
This takes me back to that beautiful question and makes me ask myself: are we really challenging God when a woman has an abortion, are we challenging him as to when life really begins? Scientifically a fetus that is 20 weeks old cannot survive outside the womb, mommy is needed for the baby to survive, at 24 weeks the chances of survival are about 2% to 3%, as the baby keeps growing the chances of the fetus surviving become higher; if this supreme being that is God, the one that decides when life begins, had decided that life begins with the first heartbeat then wouldn't the chances of the baby surviving if a woman had it at 19 weeks of pregnancy be 100%? I mean right about now I am seeing it this way: The first few weeks of pregnancy the baby can't survive outside the utero, it cannot survive without being inside the mother's womb, so wouldn't that be God letting us make the choice as to whether we wanted to or not have that baby? wouldn't that be God giving us a chance to see whether we were ready or not to become a mom? Now I am not saying use abortion as a means of contraception, God has allowed us to find a way to enjoy our sexual pleasures without having to bring a life into the world when we don't feel we are yet ready, now this brief period of time when baby is not able to live outside mom's body I am seeing as: if that 1% chance of getting pregnant happened then I have the choice on whether or not I am ready to become a mom, every mom out there knows how hard it is to bring a child to the world, to raise them and provide for them, and yes some will say well that's easy just don't have sex until you get married or don't have sex unless you are willing to get pregnant or have sex and if it happened it is because God wanted that, well I say to them:
1. People are not gonna stop having sex, it is fun and unfortunately people enjoy it way too much to give it up, God made us that way.
2. God has allowed us to take care of ourselves and enjoy ourselves, otherwise we would have never found a way to try and prevent pregnancy.
3. God has already told us when life begins, life begins when a baby is able to survive outside mommy's body, when that chance of survival hits 1% that is when life begins, until then it has not yet begun, and I am a witness to this because 9 years ago my sister's mother, whom I call mom too because she has become like a mother to me in the recent years, had complications with her pregnancy, she went into labor when she was about 20 or 21 weeks pregnant, they tried to keep the baby inside as long as they could, finally a week or so went by and they had to deliver the baby. Mom almost died, and the baby had a 1% survival rate, the doctors all said she was not going to make it, but guess what? she did, she is alive and well today, the road was not an easy one but God decided that she would survive, God had bigger plans for that baby and bigger plans for mom.
So see, are we really challenging God as to when a life begin? I don't think so, there are many reasons why a woman might seek an abortion, again I am not here to judge any of them, they are all allowed to make their choice, whether they decide to have a child or not should be up to them, not anyone else, they should not be judged there is only ONE that will judge us all and we should leave that job only to him.
I am a mom and I am also a woman, I am not saying I would or wouldn't have an abortion, I am saying that given the circumstances I should be allowed to make that decision for myself and if we are going to include God in this dilemma, well, I believe God has giving us a small period of time where we can make that choice.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
What I learned from a drug addict
So I was thinking about many things today, one that caught my mind was the way people are always telling me how bad they feel that I married a drug addict and ended up as a single mom, well I don't! I don't feel bad at all (I did feel like a complete idiot because I did not know he was on drugs when I met him and it was just so obvious he was on them now that I look back), you may now ask why I don't feel bad about the whole situation, sure I have a daughter with him who he has not seen in almost a year and a half and who does not really know him, I am raising her by myself when is supposed to be different, but I still don't feel bad about it, because I learned a lot from all of this.
First thing I learned was about drugs themselves, it is amazing how much a drug addict knows about drugs, any drugs, how they interact with other drugs, with alcohol, what they do, how they make you feel why they make you feel like that, how they work in your body to get the response that the drug was created for, etc. and to tell you the truth it can come very handy to have someone that knows about all this stuff, when? you may ask, well, I suffer from migraine headaches, they are awful! anyone that has ever had a migraine know that is one of the worst pains in the world, when I was almost 9 months pregnant I got a realy bad migraine and the doctors could not give me anything other than tylenol (anyone that has had a migraine knows that tylenol does absolutely nothing for it) well my walking pharmacist that I had as a husband at that time decided to tell me that the last time I had one of those migraines (before I was pregnant) and ended up in the hospital the doctor had send me some narcotics for my migraines according to my private pharmacist, the drugs that were sent to me that time were a mixture of an anti-inflammatory and caffeine, so a coke (the beverage not the drug) and an anti-inflammatory over the counter drug would do the trick, guess what? it did!!! (yes we consulted with the doctor before taking any over the counter medicine that was not tylenol) so guess what? from then on anytime I have a migraine or I feel one that is trying to kick in I take 2 advils and drink a coke and it goes away, amazing huh?
Second thing, after moving about 6 or 7 different times in approximately six months and slowly losing the things that were either given to us or having him pawned the things we owned so that he could get money for drugs, all of a sudden everything else that happened in your life has a different meaning, you learn to value memories because everything that you have that is physical and has some sort of value is gone, all you have is the picture of that thing he sold for drugs in your head lol, I know appreciate more a good memory with my family and would pay anything to have a good memory with them than to get them a something that may break later, get lost, sold or forgotten somewhere, memories don't ever leave your mind, even if you become totally insane somewhere in your head those memories will exist, no one can take them away, ever! and I am glad that I learned that, it has made me appreciate life in a different way, yes you need money in order to live and in order to have the things you need for every day life, but no you don't need to spend money on a boat that you are going to have to work extra hours just so that you can pay for it, or a big house so that each of your kids can have a room (guess what? your kids won't care about that, they'd rather see you smile everyday than be grumpy cause you have to work extra hours tomorrow so that you can keep paying that big house you don't really need) so yeah I am glad I can see life this way, now don't get me wrong, I do have goals for myself, I do want certain things but I am now not rushing to get them, I am less stressed out about getting those things and I know that because I'd rather create a memory than buy a brand new car I can stop myself and take a break from what I have to do to reach my goals and actually enjoy the little things that happen all around, and trust me is a lot better than what I was doing before...
Third, mmm well this one is a little more personal, I decided to study what I am studying thanks to him, you have no idea how a drug addict can manipulate you, how much power they can have on you, how many lies they can put together, and how much they all act the same, drugs have like a special effect on people that abuse them, it makes them all the same, they seem to think the exact same way, so I got interested in psychology, at first I wanted to study Child Psychology and work in the school system, as a counselor or teacher, but then I took this Personality class, and that just changed my mind completely, I wanted to know more about human behavior, not just for children but also for adults, especially criminals, so I decided I will go more towards Criminal Psychology, then I found out all the really cool jobs one can get with a degree on that, so guess what? is even more exciting for me, now he was not the only one that inspired me for all this, my dad did too, how? you may ask, well believe it or not there were many similarities between my father and my ex-husband, and that got me thinking even more, because my dad does not do drugs, so why where these two people so different yet acted in a similar manner? I still have to figure that out but maybe that will become a good subject to research in the future (and yes I have looked at their behavior and it is very similar, their personalities are, maybe is true what they say that one ends up marrying someone that reminds them of their mother or father lol).
Fourth, after you live with a drug addict and you find out that they are doing drugs and they go to rehab but they decide that they will lie about the whole rehab thing (yes he did that too) you become more aware of what they tell you, and you remember everything they say, because the story they will tell you on Monday will be repeated on Tuesday with a little twist to it :), I can definitely say that I have become a little bit of a human lie detector lol, yeap, it is so amazing how much you can learn from someone constantly lying to you, their stories never add up because people never remember a lie but the person that was told the lie has the power to remember it, so guess what? now I can tell when someone is lying and I don't even have to ask them to repeat the story another day, people that lie have this energy to them is hard to explain but once you have been around a liar, you can spot most liars in a heartbeat!
Fifth, with him I also learned to accept things the way they are, if I don't like them after I accept them I can change them, (this is actually true) a drug addict cannot stop consuming drugs until he or she has accepted that he or she is an addict, that also applies for everyone else, you cannot change what is wrong with your life if you don't first accept that something is wrong with it, what??? ok here is an example, I was still together with him and I was telling the world how good things were, how perfect things were, and I was denying that he was still taking drugs, to me he was clean, I did not wanted to accept that the family I always wanted was being destroyed by something I could not control, so it was not until I accepted that living in a rented room with my husband, having practically no food, no phone and weighting 85 pounds while breastfeeding my child while he made enough money to feed the three of us was absolutely not the way that a family was supposed to be, I mean if you are making enough money to pay for an apt and good food and still have enough to save but somehow out of the 5000 dollars a month that come in, you only see 1000 and instead of things getting better they keep getting worse, things still are being pawned, food that is given to us is exchanged for less expensive food so that it can last a little longer and still you end up having to control every single bite of food you eat and there are days of the months where all you eat is cheerios and milk there is definately something wrong with that picture, once I accepted it and accepted that the only person that could make a change in my life and my daughter's life was myself, I made the call to change myself, and I did, and no matter how hard it was to deal with a person that could not accept that something was wrong (cause I had to deal with him for months) I knew I would continue to get better, and I did, I had help of course but I got better, I went back to school, I sort of made a new list for my goals, and I have been reaching them little by little, after that I also became too honest, I tend to say things just how I see them or how they are (which can get me in trouble, so now I have also learned to keep quiet and think before words come out of my mouth or are written to anyone most of the time it works, I mean I am still human, especially when one is angry about something).
Another one of the things I learned and one that everyone should learn is to trust myself, I learned again that the little voice inside you, whether you want to call it intuition or you want to say is God talking to you, that voice is always warning you and if you trust it and turn where you are told you should turn that road will take you where you want to be, and with no stops, so now no matter how crazy an idea seems, I follow it, and somehow things come out just the right way, which is pretty interesting (maybe one day I will figure out how all that works).
So now you might say wow... that is a crazy perspective, others might say how much positivism from something that was so negative, but I say to myself, how can I be negative about the situation that allow me to become what I always wanted to become, a mom! (even though my dad and stepmom say I never wanted children, which is not true, I always wanted them but I had my own ideas on how they were going to come to the world), which is the best job in the world, and the one that is the most rewarding, no matter how tired I am at the end of the day, no matter how many times my child does something that frustrates me, seeing a little one grow, watching them learn every day and having them look at you and tell you they love you and you being their hero, the one that to them knows it all, the one that protects them and they can always count on; her presence will never let me see the situation as negative, because my baby girl brings only positive things to my life and that is enough for me to look at all this the way I do.
First thing I learned was about drugs themselves, it is amazing how much a drug addict knows about drugs, any drugs, how they interact with other drugs, with alcohol, what they do, how they make you feel why they make you feel like that, how they work in your body to get the response that the drug was created for, etc. and to tell you the truth it can come very handy to have someone that knows about all this stuff, when? you may ask, well, I suffer from migraine headaches, they are awful! anyone that has ever had a migraine know that is one of the worst pains in the world, when I was almost 9 months pregnant I got a realy bad migraine and the doctors could not give me anything other than tylenol (anyone that has had a migraine knows that tylenol does absolutely nothing for it) well my walking pharmacist that I had as a husband at that time decided to tell me that the last time I had one of those migraines (before I was pregnant) and ended up in the hospital the doctor had send me some narcotics for my migraines according to my private pharmacist, the drugs that were sent to me that time were a mixture of an anti-inflammatory and caffeine, so a coke (the beverage not the drug) and an anti-inflammatory over the counter drug would do the trick, guess what? it did!!! (yes we consulted with the doctor before taking any over the counter medicine that was not tylenol) so guess what? from then on anytime I have a migraine or I feel one that is trying to kick in I take 2 advils and drink a coke and it goes away, amazing huh?
Second thing, after moving about 6 or 7 different times in approximately six months and slowly losing the things that were either given to us or having him pawned the things we owned so that he could get money for drugs, all of a sudden everything else that happened in your life has a different meaning, you learn to value memories because everything that you have that is physical and has some sort of value is gone, all you have is the picture of that thing he sold for drugs in your head lol, I know appreciate more a good memory with my family and would pay anything to have a good memory with them than to get them a something that may break later, get lost, sold or forgotten somewhere, memories don't ever leave your mind, even if you become totally insane somewhere in your head those memories will exist, no one can take them away, ever! and I am glad that I learned that, it has made me appreciate life in a different way, yes you need money in order to live and in order to have the things you need for every day life, but no you don't need to spend money on a boat that you are going to have to work extra hours just so that you can pay for it, or a big house so that each of your kids can have a room (guess what? your kids won't care about that, they'd rather see you smile everyday than be grumpy cause you have to work extra hours tomorrow so that you can keep paying that big house you don't really need) so yeah I am glad I can see life this way, now don't get me wrong, I do have goals for myself, I do want certain things but I am now not rushing to get them, I am less stressed out about getting those things and I know that because I'd rather create a memory than buy a brand new car I can stop myself and take a break from what I have to do to reach my goals and actually enjoy the little things that happen all around, and trust me is a lot better than what I was doing before...
Third, mmm well this one is a little more personal, I decided to study what I am studying thanks to him, you have no idea how a drug addict can manipulate you, how much power they can have on you, how many lies they can put together, and how much they all act the same, drugs have like a special effect on people that abuse them, it makes them all the same, they seem to think the exact same way, so I got interested in psychology, at first I wanted to study Child Psychology and work in the school system, as a counselor or teacher, but then I took this Personality class, and that just changed my mind completely, I wanted to know more about human behavior, not just for children but also for adults, especially criminals, so I decided I will go more towards Criminal Psychology, then I found out all the really cool jobs one can get with a degree on that, so guess what? is even more exciting for me, now he was not the only one that inspired me for all this, my dad did too, how? you may ask, well believe it or not there were many similarities between my father and my ex-husband, and that got me thinking even more, because my dad does not do drugs, so why where these two people so different yet acted in a similar manner? I still have to figure that out but maybe that will become a good subject to research in the future (and yes I have looked at their behavior and it is very similar, their personalities are, maybe is true what they say that one ends up marrying someone that reminds them of their mother or father lol).
Fourth, after you live with a drug addict and you find out that they are doing drugs and they go to rehab but they decide that they will lie about the whole rehab thing (yes he did that too) you become more aware of what they tell you, and you remember everything they say, because the story they will tell you on Monday will be repeated on Tuesday with a little twist to it :), I can definitely say that I have become a little bit of a human lie detector lol, yeap, it is so amazing how much you can learn from someone constantly lying to you, their stories never add up because people never remember a lie but the person that was told the lie has the power to remember it, so guess what? now I can tell when someone is lying and I don't even have to ask them to repeat the story another day, people that lie have this energy to them is hard to explain but once you have been around a liar, you can spot most liars in a heartbeat!
Fifth, with him I also learned to accept things the way they are, if I don't like them after I accept them I can change them, (this is actually true) a drug addict cannot stop consuming drugs until he or she has accepted that he or she is an addict, that also applies for everyone else, you cannot change what is wrong with your life if you don't first accept that something is wrong with it, what??? ok here is an example, I was still together with him and I was telling the world how good things were, how perfect things were, and I was denying that he was still taking drugs, to me he was clean, I did not wanted to accept that the family I always wanted was being destroyed by something I could not control, so it was not until I accepted that living in a rented room with my husband, having practically no food, no phone and weighting 85 pounds while breastfeeding my child while he made enough money to feed the three of us was absolutely not the way that a family was supposed to be, I mean if you are making enough money to pay for an apt and good food and still have enough to save but somehow out of the 5000 dollars a month that come in, you only see 1000 and instead of things getting better they keep getting worse, things still are being pawned, food that is given to us is exchanged for less expensive food so that it can last a little longer and still you end up having to control every single bite of food you eat and there are days of the months where all you eat is cheerios and milk there is definately something wrong with that picture, once I accepted it and accepted that the only person that could make a change in my life and my daughter's life was myself, I made the call to change myself, and I did, and no matter how hard it was to deal with a person that could not accept that something was wrong (cause I had to deal with him for months) I knew I would continue to get better, and I did, I had help of course but I got better, I went back to school, I sort of made a new list for my goals, and I have been reaching them little by little, after that I also became too honest, I tend to say things just how I see them or how they are (which can get me in trouble, so now I have also learned to keep quiet and think before words come out of my mouth or are written to anyone most of the time it works, I mean I am still human, especially when one is angry about something).
Another one of the things I learned and one that everyone should learn is to trust myself, I learned again that the little voice inside you, whether you want to call it intuition or you want to say is God talking to you, that voice is always warning you and if you trust it and turn where you are told you should turn that road will take you where you want to be, and with no stops, so now no matter how crazy an idea seems, I follow it, and somehow things come out just the right way, which is pretty interesting (maybe one day I will figure out how all that works).
So now you might say wow... that is a crazy perspective, others might say how much positivism from something that was so negative, but I say to myself, how can I be negative about the situation that allow me to become what I always wanted to become, a mom! (even though my dad and stepmom say I never wanted children, which is not true, I always wanted them but I had my own ideas on how they were going to come to the world), which is the best job in the world, and the one that is the most rewarding, no matter how tired I am at the end of the day, no matter how many times my child does something that frustrates me, seeing a little one grow, watching them learn every day and having them look at you and tell you they love you and you being their hero, the one that to them knows it all, the one that protects them and they can always count on; her presence will never let me see the situation as negative, because my baby girl brings only positive things to my life and that is enough for me to look at all this the way I do.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Opening...
So, I have decided to start this little blog thing which will be about anything and everything, I figured I would create something that would go with my personality and specially with the way my brain works, which is very random, so every time I get a chance I will write and post about something that was on my mind during that day or that I can not keep off my mind during that day, so there will be posts about memories (good and bad), about love, about the people I love, about life, about faith, about my views of the world during that particular day, and just about anything that comes to my mind.
Enjoy!!!
PS: Since I am doing this for fun, I am not going to be grammatically correct on every post, probably won't be grammatically correct in any post. :)
Enjoy!!!
PS: Since I am doing this for fun, I am not going to be grammatically correct on every post, probably won't be grammatically correct in any post. :)
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